Snap Judgements-Book Excerpts
If anyone is willing to read and review, I'm willing to do the same. I can give free code through Smashwords or give a PDF. Are there any Indie souls out there searching (as I am) for reviews for their books? So far I have garnered a few very good reviews, but can always use more. As I am sure you can. I am willing to give honest reviews for an exchange of the same. Read excerpts (from each book pictured) below and let's get it started. If you are willing to swap reviews, leave your response in the comments. Thanks.
Books by Ey Wade are found for the Apple Products: iTunes (http://bit.ly/EyinApple) and for Kindle (http://amzn.to/wade-inbooks)
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These are also places I am willing to post reviews. Other places included are Goodreads, Wade-Into Book reviews (my blog http://wade-intobookreviews.blogspot.com/). If you have a trailer for your book I will post it on my Video Blog site
( http://wade-inbooktrailers.blogspot.com/)
Without further ado, let's get to it. Feel free to scroll down or click on link for your choice of book:
D.N.A.
a YA novel.
"....This book's for you if you love wrenching personal trials, emotional highs and lows, terrific descriptions of a young woman's movement through life and her internal dialogues, and beautiful writing. Full of extraordinary events, DNA will keep you turning pages until the very end." Carolyn Chambers Clark
"....This was beautifully written by Ey, mostly in flashbacks. Debney is a well-conceived character with spunk and intelligence, and despite the disinterest and lack of love from her mother, or maybe because of it, she is a warm and selfless character. Her closest friends, although diverse in character are likeable and their mixed ethnicity bonds them tightly. All the characters in this book were well-drawn, the story is nicely paced and the result is a delightful YA novel" Beeshon
DESCRIPTION: Debney Nichole Armstrong thought she knew everything about her family. She knew her dad worked hard at everything, except building a relationship with his family. She knew her younger brothers were typical little kids, and she knew without doubt, her mother cared nothing for her first born and only daughter. But what she hadn’t known was, DNA could ruin your life.
Eighteen
year old Debney Nichole Armstrong, found out about her parents’ and
little brothers’ death during the night of her eighteenth birthday
party. Yes, sometimes relationships in families end tragically. People
leave; parents die, and lives change, but does it all have to bring
out the skeletons in the closet?
After
one of her reoccurring bitter arguments with her mother, Debney is
left home alone while her family goes away on summer vacation. In the
chaos of a romantic (with her long time crush) dinner turned teen
party, she learns of the death of her family. What she really needed
to know was what role did her mother contribute to the ‘accident’?
Where were the bodies of her ten year old twin brothers? Who is the
strange man in her mother’s journals, and who is the father of the
child she now carries? No matter what the answers are, Debney knows,
nothing will ever be the same.
EXCERPT:
i. Sometimes Life Sucks
Debney clasped
the rail to the stairs tightly, slowed her steps in an effort to
control her odd side to side waddling movements, and hoped to
forestall the possibility of losing her balance and falling over. No
mean feat considering the large backpack pressing into her side weighed
more than ten pounds and the huge odd shape of her near nine month
pregnancy caused her to lean dangerously forward.
Looking
down and into the hallway, she met the animated gaze of more than two
dozen pair of eyes. It was easy to see that the giggling groups of
students standing and gawking around their lockers were getting a kick
out of her precarious situation, none were worried about her.
Straightening
her shoulders and tightening her jaw she urged herself to show
confidence. One stupid mistake and they would all laugh and she would
have to spend the rest of the day trying to live with an added
humiliation. It would be the last twang on her already bruised nerves,
and she knew she would probably lose all of her self control.
Releasing
each shaky breath, she exhaled slowly with each successful step she
took. If she did fall,it would be her third tumble within one week and
obviously not a good thing for her or the baby, but a definite show of
entertainment for the uncouth high school ensemble. The pain from the
fall she knew she would get over, but the embarrassment and the
ridicule would be way too hard to swallow. Debney held the rail
tighter and continued moving cautiously, she refused to let herself be
the brunt of their humor once again.
"Fat pig on the stairs." chortled one as she elbowed Debney in the side.
"Girl roll on down and get out the way." Another laughed loudly.
"Yeah you're blocking everybody."
“They
shouldn’t allow people like you in here, anyway. What kind of model
are you for the freshman? A stupid girl, that sleeps around and then
doesn’t have the sense to use protection, idiot.” The fourth turned and
sneered at Debney as she bounced down the stairs after her friends.
Breathing
in deeply, Debney let the long fall of her hair hide the mixture of
fear and anger in her face, while provided her with a curtain to shield
her emotions behind; the small gesture pulled in check her urge to
retaliate. What she really wanted to do was grab them, one at a time,
slit their throats and then throw them down the stairs. The
visualization of their bodies slamming against the lockers and
exploding amused her. She smiled slightly, as she imagined herself
standing on the stairs, hands on hips, big belly bouncing while she
laughed loudly like a raving maniac. And it would be their faults for
driving her to insanity. The juvenile hate filled mass campaign the
students of King’s Multicultural High School had organized to do her
harm became more and more evident as her days to give birth grew
shorter. It was no longer a laughing matter. True, she may have
unwittingly caused some of the animosity to be pointed towards her,
but endangering the life of an innocent baby was uncalled for.
The
sudden flurry of independent movement of her shirt drew her attention
from the chaos and noise around her to the presence of turmoil
within. The baby’s hearty kicks seemed to mirror the anger burning
through her veins. Resting her palm on the freakishly rolling inch of
flesh under her shirt she whispered quiet words of comfort. Here she
was nearly ready to give birth and she still hadn’t gotten used to the
dance movements going on inside of her body. The small kick of the
child against her ribs was the only hold to her restraint and sanity.
“Are you okay?”
Lifting
her head and lowering it just as quickly when her gaze smacked
straight into the concerned eyes of Giante’ DeVries, Debney sighed and
cursed under her breath irritably. Not bothering to answer she
continued on her measured course down, the action successfully causing
him to move with her.
Giante’
walked the stairs backward and directly in front of her. His left
hand sliding unhurriedly down the rail with the arm held stiffly,
successfully giving the impression he would protect her from falling.
His hands were huge, smooth and long fingered. And from what she tried
hard not to remember, extremely gentle.
She
felt the heat rise in her face as quickly as the shame entered her
thoughts. Above all the others, she remembered him. Every thought she
ever had of him caused her to ridicule herself. If the imminent danger
of falling wasn’t weighing heavily on her mind she would have closed
her eyes to avoid the compassion in his.
“You
know it wouldn’t hurt you to pretend you know me, Debney. Hell we’ve
spent every summer together for as long as I can remember. I’m just
worried about you Deb.” His voice softened as he whispered the last
part.
“I’m fine.”
Her
voice came out in little more than a whisper. It had been days since
anyone had spoken to her. Weeks if you subtracted the cruel, sarcastic
tones of voices. She quickened her steps, trying to brush past him as
soon as her feet hit solid ground but he as usual blocked her path.
“I
haven’t seen you in a while. What with football practice and Spring
Break, I haven’t had time to roam the halls, but I’ve missed you.” He
bent down a little to try and see her face through the curtain of her
thick dark hair.
His
smile was encouraging and the only thing she could see of his face
without boldly throwing her head back. No way would she be doing that,
she just didn’t feel brave enough to follow through. The last time she
let her emotions rule her actions all hell had fallen into her life.
She kept her head down and watched her hands gently rubbing her
stomach as she encouraged herself to respond.
“That’s
fine. Giante' it didn't matter. Everything has been the same.” She
sucked in a deep breath and tried to go around him, but was forestalled
by his evasive movements. “Can you get out of the way? I have things I
need to do before the bell rings.”
“Why do you always run from me, Debney?”
Closing
her eyes briefly, Debney sighed deeply. She just didn’t have time for
an interrogation. She knew anything she did out of her ordinary habit
of scurrying through the crowd would draw unwanted attention in her
direction. Standing still in the middle of the hallway was something
she avoided as much as possible. When it came to finding a victim for
harassment she was the biggest target and she preferred to be a moving
one. Peering around his shoulder at the students in the hallway she
took a steadying breath. Maybe if she let him have a few moments of
conversation he would hurry and move and she would be free to go on her
way.
Pressured
beyond belief knowing she had a short space of time to get through
the hallway to the restroom and yet not willing to give him access to
such information, she fiend irritation, executed her best wiggling
neck in the current attitudal broken hinged fashion, she answered
louder than necessary.
“Why do you always stand in my way, Giant?” Her irritation at being confronted plainly showing.
"You know I don't like you calling me that, Deb."
Of
course she knew. He had been teased with the nickname from the third
grade onward. Ever since kindergarten he’d been shoulders and head
taller than the other boys his age and after the summer of their fifth
grade year he’d outgrown those same boys by another nine inches.
Tossing
her head back to clear the hair from her face she commanded herself
to look him boldly in the eyes, and immediately disobeyed. At almost
seven feet tall, Giante’ looked like a god. A tall muscular well built
beautiful Asian god and she loved him. A fact he seemed unaware of.
Looking
around anywhere and everywhere but in his face, she noticed the
movements and shuffling of the other students had practically stopped
and the volume in the hallway lowered as it filled with more bodies.
The sudden drop in the decibel of noise was a blatant sign of interest
in the couple’s conversation. It was obvious the crowd of students
were either pretending to retrieve articles from their lockers or
outright listening to their discussion. She lowered her voice.
“I’m
sorry, Giante’. I didn’t mean to shout or call you that. My last
class was a nightmare and I really have something I need to do before
the next one. Listen….” she grabbed the strap of her sagging backpack
in preparation to swing it to her other side and he yanked it from her
hand. The action caused her to lean forward precariously, only to be
saved from falling by him stepping forward and bearing her weight in
his arms. Moving quickly she righted herself and stepped back a few
paces. Using both hands to brush the hair from her face she sighed and
wiggled her shoulders in relief at the momentary removal of the added
weight.
“Are
you supposed to be carrying things this heavy?” Giante’ raised the
bag up and down testing its weight. “It’s as big as your stomach and
probably heavier than you are.”
“Obviously
you know nothing about social graces when it comes to talking to
pregnant women.” She reached for her bag and he switched it to his
other hand and higher than her reach. “Or should I say women in
general.”
She
saw the heat rise in his face and felt ashamed again for causing him
embarrassment. He used to be one of her best friends, one of the last
ones to stand by her side, and all she could do whenever they met was
‘cause him shame.
“You know what, Giante'? Don’t worry about the size of my stomach. You should mind your own damned business.”
“Should
you even be walking downstairs in your condition? Isn’t the baby due
soon?” He ignored her small tirade, the concern for her welfare
plainly seen through the softness of his eyes. “You should ask your
mom….”
Debney
interrupted his reprimand angrily. Moving without thought she stepped
towards him and in less than a second she was so close to Giante’
that their stomachs touched. His immediate step backwards spoke
volumes to his revulsion of the contact and she lost it. In her anger
she poked his chest with the nail of her pointer finger.
“You
know what; you should mind your own business and quit worrying about
me. And just what should I ask my mom, Giante’? Ask her if she misses
me? Ask her if she ever gave a crap about me? Ask her what she thinks
of her only daughter being pregnant? If she’s glad she gets to spend
eternity away from me? Or should I just ask her how she feels being
dead?”
Stunned
at voicing the questions she only repeated to herself when she was
alone at night, Debney covered her mouth with her hands and stared at
the hurt, mortified look on Giant’s face. She regretted hurting him,
but she just didn’t have the energy to coddle anyone. All she wanted
was to be left alone.
Before
he could answer, a crowd of his football buddies and their
cheerleader girlfriends surrounded and maneuvered themselves between
the couple, successfully separating them. The interruption felt like a
godsend and Debney decided to take the gift and slip away. Knowing it
wouldn’t be long before their inane conversation would be directed
towards her with derivative criticism, Debney reached for her bag,
again, Giante’ held it out of her reach.
Taking
Giante’s actions as a sign to continue the daily ritual of mocking
and ridicule, Roody the jock nearest to Debney, jumped back as if it
were detrimental to avoid any physical contact from her. He brushed
his hands across his shoulders and down his clothes. His nose turned
up in disgust.
"Man Giante' you need to stay away from DNA." He uttered the now hated acronym made from the initials of her name.
Looking
around the group of laughing mocking teens, Debney admonished herself
for having stood still and out in the open for far too long. Like a
deer in a pit of lions she knew she had left herself vulnerable and
open for attack. As usual she was stared at, criticized, and her
stomach poked.
“You
weren’t saying that when you were at my house.” Debney returned
Roody’s look with equal disdain and stepped up to him. “I’m the one
who should be wiping the disgust away.” Looking him up and down Debney
turned her back and dismissed him from her mind. “High school is too
damned typical and cliché. You guys need to grow up.”
“Hey if I knew I was going to be used like a piece of meat at that party,” Roody continued. “I would have stayed home.”
Debney
scoffed at the rebuke and fruitlessly reached for her bag again.
Giante’ ignored her frustrated glare and reached for her hand. Before
their fingers touched they were separated again by the movements of the
group.
"Yeah,
Giante, you better stay away from her. From all of the guys I heard
she slept with that baby can belong to any male in this school."
Fabeola the head cheerleader poked the kicking twitching mound. “Eww
and it moves.” She jumped back screeching and they all laughed.
“Hey,
your momma named you right, DNA.” Another member of the team jumped
into the conversation. “You’re a walking advertisement for the
paternity test. Why don’t you go on that TV show, what’s it called?”
He turned to the crowd in the hallway and they all shouted I’m Not Your Baby Daddy
with loud laughter and cat calls before he turned back to her with
pointed finger and continued talking. “You can find out who that baby’s
daddy is for free. And that way you can scratch my name off the
list.”
Horrified
at the suggestion and the burst of guffaws and snickering laughter,
Debney was stunned into silence. One of the three cheerleaders started
pointing at the male students milling in the hallway one at a time.
She twirled around slowly until she had pointed in all directions.
"You the daddy, and you the daddy, and you....”
Taking
advantage of his divided attention Debney grabbed her bag from
Giante’s loose grip and stomped away as quickly as possible. She
wasn’t quick enough to avoid the laughter and the now familiar taunt
which followed her and become the chant whenever she entered a room. DNA go away. Don’t spread your germs this a-way.
If they only knew how much she wished she could get away from the
life she was living, they would realize their chant was useless.
Her
only wish at the moment was to get into the restroom and behind the
doors of a stall before she broke down and cried. But as usual it
wasn’t her luck. The girls who were at the sink washing their hands
when she entered the room rushed back into empty stalls and those
about to exit stalls stepped back in, their uniformed laughter and
cheering her undoing. Those four were the main pain to her existence.
Where
she had walked in the restroom feeling pity for her situation and
hanging on the verge of tears, she now felt blinding rage. For nearly
nine months she’d put up with their ignorant picks, taunts and their
meanness as a deserved punishment for wishing her family dead. What she
had failed to realize was her punishment did not include the right to
let them focus their persecution on her innocent baby. This group of
girls, which usually included Fabeola, had made it their daily mission
to find a way to humiliate her. They'd pushed her down the stairs one
too many times and only because of the unforeseen luck of always
finding someone standing in front of her, she had not fallen too hard
or been hurt.
Just
the day before this same callous act of holding the stalls had caused
her to wet herself and miss all of her afternoon classes. Today she
was prepared. She’d made an elaborate plan the night before and
payback was going to be a ‘muther’. She was tired of being a victim
and tired of sitting back, letting others treat her as if she didn’t
matter. It was time she stood up and protected the child she was
carrying.
Stuffing
the drains of the six sinks with paper towels Debney turned on the
waters full force and watched as they filled quickly and began to over
flow. The girls in the stalls so proud of themselves with their
laughing, and cruel jokes missed the sarcasm in her voice as she
repeatedly begged loudly for them to come out so she could go in. Every
word from her; caused them to get louder and more rambunctious. Like
idiots, they banged on the stall doors and laughed loudly. Unzipping
the side opening of her back pack, Debney pulled out a wide roll of
grey packing tape. Banking on the fact their loudness was drowning out
the sound of the tape tearing, Debney moved quickly to tape the doors
of the stalls shut. She knew it probably wouldn’t hold them in long,
and they wouldn’t drown but it would make a point. Pulling a tube of
lipstick from her purse she wrote a message on the mirror making it
plain she was no longer playing. When she felt the water rising at her
feet, she smiled at her success.
“Fine, stay in there for all I care. I hate all of you and I’m tired of taking crap. I’ll stay here as long as you’re in there.”
“Go ahead.”
“We’re not the one that has to pee.”'
“And we sure aren’t going to be the one who pees on herself.”
And
the jokes and laughter continued. If she had felt an inkling of
remorse for her actions, it was now gone. Pushing the tape back in the
side pocket Debney pulled the typed ‘do not use’ sign from her bag and
slapped it to the outside of the door, as she walked into the
hallway. Just before she walked away she turned back and rammed the
rubber door stop under the door in mimic of one of the tricks they had
played on her.
Shouldering her
way through the chattering students rushing through the hallway to
their last class of the afternoon, Debney smiled to herself. She
barely made it through the door and squeezed her big belly into her
seat and under the desk before the bell rang.
****
She was flipping listlessly through the pages of her American
Literature book when three of the girls from the restroom entered the
room followed by the senior guidance counselor.
Debney’s gaze never wavered from the counselors face. She listened to
the squishy sounds made by the shoes of the girls as they crossed the
room to their desks and snickered. She tried not to laugh out loud
when the one sitting closer to her swung her leg to cross it at the
ankle and the water from the soaking hem of her jeans splashed onto
the calf of the girl sitting in front of her. The accompanying protest
and complaint was immediately quieted by the whispered explanation.
Within seconds the bathroom incident was shared with the entire class
and all faces were turned in Debney’s direction. The ensuing rush of
bitter stinging comments of outrage and taunts were cut into silence
by the upraised voice of the counselor.
“Debney Nichole Armstrong will you follow me to the office please.”
Without a word Debney slid out of her seat, sighing in frustration
because she had to struggle a bit to pull the backpack along with her.
Its cumbersome shape and weight causing her to bend and lift to get it
through the small opening between desktop and seat of chair. As
unintentionally as it may have seemed to the class, she swung it out
just in time to smack the pointed end of the pen out of the hand of the
girl sitting across from her. With repetition came knowledge. She had
been stuck too many times and as she had said before, she was tired of
taking crap.
Standing in front of the teacher’s desk Debney ignored the counselor and held out a card to the teacher.
“Ms. A, I just wanted to let you know I finally got around to filling
thank you cards from my family’s funeral. I know it’s taken a long
time. Put it down to too much going on in my life. I appreciate all you
have done for me. I just wanted to let you know I decided last night
that this would be my last day here. Since there are only two weeks
left to graduation I won't be coming back. I’ll have my own baby to
take care of in a few weeks and I’m tired of dealing with other
people’s immature little children.” She turned and looked over the
class with a sneer before turning back. “Thanks so much for your
kindness.”
“You’re welcome Debney. Take care of yourself.” The teacher walked around the desk and gave her a hug.
“I will. My number is on the card. You can call me if you ever feel like it.”
Before
she crossed the threshold for the last time Debney looked back into
the room. “Most of you people are people I have known for my entire
school career. We grew up together, learned a lot of things and have
made mistakes I thought we were friends and yet you are the only people
who have made me regret not having died with my family. Well, after
today you'll never have to say ‘DNA you go away’. I’m gone.”
Following
the counselor out of the room, Debney walked slowly through the empty
hallway towards the administration side of the school building. The
memory of four years of happiness was blurred by the horror and
loneliness of the past nine months.
“Sit here, Debney.” The counselor opened her office door and pointed towards the sitting area of the room.
“Oh,
God is this going to take long? Are you about to lecture me again?
I’ve heard enough. Once a week I’m in here for something or other. I
can’t take anymore I’m really tired.”
Debney
crossed the room to the nicely arranged furnishings and let herself
flop into the thick cushions of an armchair. Breathing in deeply she
closed her eyes and tried to relax. She hated this room. She had been in
the office more times over the past few months than the entire four
years she had attend the high school. It was always the same thing.
Nothing was her fault and yet, everything was her fault.
The
moisture from the cold wet container being placed in her hand brought
her back to the present. She looked at the item with disgust.
“Ewww gross. Why are you giving me orange juice Mrs. K? You don’t have a Cherry Coke?”
“Coke is not good for the baby.”
“Depends
on the kind of coke it is. Some kinds can really quiet the kid.” She
rubbed the now quiet mound of her abdomen as she looked the counselor
in the eye. Debney getting a kick out of the look on the Mrs. K’s face
sat back and laughed uproariously. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”
Stepping
away from Debney Mrs. K dropped herself into the other recliner; her
arms spread wide, the flesh jiggling a little when hitting the armrest
of the chair. The combined bounce of her wrist and the flop into the
chair caused a small splash from her can of coke to spill down her
hand and plop onto the carpet. Shrugging nonchalantly at the small
mess Mrs. K. lifted and crossed her legs onto the coffee table in
front of her as if she were tired as hell, and closed her eyes.
“You had better be. I know you don’t want CPS in your business.”
“God
no not again, it took months to get them out of my life when the
family first passed away. I don’t know what Good Samaritan called
thinking I was a little kid on my own, but they very nearly caused me
and the baby our freedom. Anyway orange juice makes me puke.”
“I
hadn’t thought of that.” She reached out and switched drinks. “Have
you been eating regularly? You seem thinner than you used to be.”
“I
eat three meals a day while at school alone. Can I help it if the
alien within me sucks up all my nutrients?” Debney lightly tapped the
bulge of her stomach and was immediately kicked in response. She
laughed softly. “Already like his mom, rebellious as hell.”
“What about the father Debney? What are you going to do about him?”
“Which ‘him’ are you talking about?”
“Whichever ‘him’,
you choose.” Mrs. K. sat up straight and took a sip from her drink.
“Don’t worry you know I’ve heard all of the rumors.” She smiled a
little. Having known Debney for a few years she fell into the casual
joking mode. “From what I’ve heard there is a choice between quite a few
from the football team. If it were me, there would be only one I
would choose.” She gave a one-sided lift of her lip and sucked down
the rest of her drink. The youthful action caused Debney to giggle.
“I shouldn’t have ever told you about my crush. Don’t worry about anything, I have it covered.”
“I’m
really worried about you Debney. You may think you’re all grown up
but you’re still a kid. Is anyone staying with you? Have you been to
the doctor lately?”
“I’m using a
midwife. Why do I need anyone with me? I’m an adult. I made eighteen a
couple of days after….I’m eighteen now. I don’t need a babysitter. I
may seem like a kid, but I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m filthy rich
and want for nothing. I’ve got it better than a lot of the other girls
running around school in the same situation.”
“No,
you don’t have it better. All of those girls have a family. Whether
they like it or not there is someone for them to run to. You’re alone
and you need a friend. Hell girl what you really need is someone to
talk you out of having a baby at home. Your first child and you so
young, you need to be in a hospital with someone there when you go
into labor.”
“Someone will be there. Don’t worry. I have all the money I need, a big house, and I don’t ever have to be alone.”
“Yeah,
but you can get lonely. Who’s there with you at night? Who do you
confide in Debney? Whose shoulder have you cried on since your entire
family died in that accident?”
“Listen,
Mrs. K. I made the mistake of crying on one too many shoulders the
night I found out my family died and look what it’s gotten me.” She
pushed herself into a standing position and rocked just a little at the
shift in altitude. “I don’t need a shoulder. Feeling sorry for myself
makes me jump to too many conclusions. I believed it when they told me
my little brothers were dead and I gave up on them. You know they
weren’t in the wreckage and I keep having the feeling I need to go find
them, but I turned around, swallowed my feelings and had a funeral for
them.”
“Debney you have to face
facts, they haven’t been found. You yourself told me there was a cliff
under the wreckage. They may have fallen over and into the ocean and
will never be found. I know that’s harsh, but you need to face facts.
You made a crazy trip out of the country hunting for them and nothing
has changed. You have to accept the realities of life and concentrate
on the next few weeks. Big things are about to happen in your life and
it may be the change you need to pull you out of the dumps.”
“I
know all of that and so I made up my mind last night that it’s
ridiculous for me to keep coming to school. I don’t need any credits. My
grades got me a scholarship and role as Valedictorian. And yet every
day I continue coming here I run the risk of being killed because too
many jealous ignorant little girls keep trying to push me down the
stairs, or humiliated because they hold up the restrooms until I pee on
myself. So if you took me out of class to lecture me about today’s
restroom incident, forget it. I’m not hearing it. Bill me for the
cleanup I’m good for the money. At least my parents left me something.”
She turned to stomp out of the room but stopped and turned around at
the sound of clapping.
“That’s good
Debney. I’m glad to finally see some kind of reaction coming from you.
I watch you daily trudging the halls, head down and looking at no
one. You eat alone, you walk around alone on the campus and you go
home alone. I heard you even fired the household staff. Who is taking
care of you? Who’s cooking for you? Making sure all the bills are
paid? I’ve talked to your teachers and we are all worried about you.
Sure you do your work as usual, but you have lost yourself. You’ve
locked down and closed out people in this school who care about you."
“People
like who Mrs. K.? The girls I thought were my friends are now
ignoring me and the ones I never had anything to do with have made it
their life’s mission to make my days a study in mental and physical
torture. It’s not that I want to be alone, it’s that I’m afraid to be
around anyone.”
“Why do you think that is, Debney? Why have you allowed them to treat you so horribly?”
“Let’s
not get into the psycho babble, Mrs. K. We’ve been through all of
this before and my thoughts haven’t changed. I still believe it’s
because it’s treatment I deserve. I brought this all on myself. Before
you try to deny it,” She raised her hand to halt the counselor’s
words. “Be honest. For all I know I slept with one of those idiot’s
boyfriend and got knocked up. If I had to name the father in order to
save my life, I would die right now. It doesn’t make a difference
whether or not I was drunk or high or anything. I shouldn’t have
thrown a party and lost my mind.”
“It was understandable. Teenagers throw parties when their parents are away.”
“Yeah, but do they sleep with most of the guys at the party.”
“I’m sure that’s not what you planned.”
“I can honestly say that’s true. My plan was to be with one certain person and things got out of hand.”
Mrs.
K. leaned forward and smiled gently into her face. “Just to fall a
little into my counselor mode I have to say the cavalier way youth fall
into having sex is why girls find themselves in your position.
Pregnant and stuck being both parents to an innocent baby, but don’t
be so hard on yourself. I can’t even tell you how many other girls are
walking around here pregnant and not knowing what to do. Everyone
makes mistakes. Just face them and move on. And you have to believe
there are people here who care about you.”
Turning away to avoid direct eye contact with the counselor, Debney rubbed her palm across right her eye.
“Mrs.
K, I’m sure there are a few people left in the world that care about
me, even if it is out of a sense of duty, but I can take care of
myself. All of the menial things required in caring for a home, I can
handle. I don’t want to even tell you how many times I had to take
care of things before my parents died. I wouldn’t dare tell you the
many times I slipped out of vacations when my mom stuck me with
another family, and I stayed the summers and holidays in that house
alone. It's nothing new. I can handle this. I just can’t mentally
afford to connect to anyone right now. If I do, I’m afraid I’ll break
down and if I do that I just know there’s no way I can pull myself
together in time. It won’t be long before I’m a mother and I have to
be able to be there in all capacities for the baby. I don’t want to
need anyone.”
“Well, I’m sorry
little girl because there are a wing of women waiting for you in the
teacher’s lounge who want you to need us. We’re pulling for you. You
can swallow that mountain of shame, let go of that river of tears
you’ve been holding in and know you can call on either of us. How can
you doubt us? We’ve known you for four years and some longer than that.
You’ve bust in the doors of our office sharing every aspect of your
life with us and all of a sudden you close up. Real life doesn’t work
like that. People who care about a person stick around whether you
want them to or not.”Mrs. K stood. “Now, come on over here and give me
a hug.”
Grabbing the backpack from
Debney’s hand Mrs. K. pulled the young girl's stiff figure close and
gave her a huge hug before turning and guiding her out of the door. By
using her arm which was wrapped around Debney’s waist she directed her
towards the faculty lounge.
“And
don’t worry about what happened in the rest room today sometimes people
deserve what they get and this is the real reason I called you into
the office.”
Mrs. K. opened the door to the teacher’s lounge and shouts of surprise and the evidence of a surprise baby shower greeted them.
******
On
the spur of the moment Debney swung the wheel of the car to the left
and drove through the circular part of the driveway to the front of
the house instead of continuing straight and into the garage. Throwing
the car’s gears into park she slowly climbed out and looked around.
Her
gaze immediately rested on the enormous architectural presence of the
house. The exterior was still beautiful. A lovely butter cream
coloring trimmed in ivory. The tower shape of the large walls on each
corner of the house and the picture windows bordered by wall climbing
ivy and jasmine made the house look like a castle waiting for its
Cinderella. She had always loved the house. Dreamed daily of one day
swinging open the double front doors to the man coming to beg her
father for her hand in marriage. What a fairy tale. Reality had sucked
the delusional dream up as easy as dust to a Dyson.
Debney
hadn’t entered through the front door of the house in months. She had
run from the presence of the memories it held like a little girl
running from imagined boogie men, but now it was time she grew up.
This was her home and before too much more time passed it would be the
home of a new life.
She looked
around the grounds and shook her head in regret. Her dad would be
disappointed in her. He had loved the house more than she and paid
plenty money to keep the lawn meticulous and here she was only nine
months in charge and she had failed him. The wide long porch needed
sweeping, seating needed cleaning, the multiple potted plants and the
lawn needed tending, grass needed cutting, flower bushes were dying
from lack of care or watering and advertising circulars were scattered
around rotting in their plastic coverings. It had been a mistake to
let the yardman go. The house looked abandoned.
Staring
at its door and the leaf covered welcome mat she rubbed her stomach
shrugged her shoulders and released and long puff of air. The sooner
she entered the sooner the ghosts would leave.
Reaching
into the interior of the car she twirled her fingers around as many
roped handles as possible and prepared to pull out numerous small bags
as one yank would allow. The sound of approaching footsteps caused her
to falter in her movements of retrieving the packages. And of course
it would be no one but Giante’.
“You need any help Debney?”
“No.”
She
yanked on the handles of a particularly stubborn bag and almost fell
when it suddenly released itself. Giante’s hands were immediately on
her back to catch her.
“What are you doing here Giante’?” She jerked away from his touch and stepped around him.
“I saw you drive up. I’m amazed you came this way. You haven’t been through those doors in months.”
“I know.”
“Have you been shopping?” He poked his head and half his body into the car’s open door.
“No. Are you always spying on me?”`
“I
live right across the street. Have you forgotten that? Have you
forgotten we have spent every summer together for as long as I can
remember? Hell we used to spend all of our spare time with each other.”
He lowered his voice. “Have you fooled yourself into forgetting the
night we spent together?”
“How could I
forget?” She looked pointedly at her stomach. “How can you forget you
aren’t the only one I was with? Shit, forget I asked that. I’m not in
the mood to have that conversation again.” She took a deep breath and
changed the subject. “Mrs. K and a few teachers threw me a baby
shower. I’m just bringing the things in here since they’ve all taken
it upon themselves to invite themselves over. They want to check out
the house and make sure things are in order for the baby’s arrival.
You now adults, they can never leave things, alone. They should be
here in a minute.”
“Why don’t you just take them into the guesthouse? That’s where you live.”
“They
don’t know that.” She looked at him as if he were an imbecile. “I
just spent the last hour giving them the impression I’m living the
life of the privileged, do you thing I can drag them to the backyard
and not seem crazy when a huge house sits empty? Forget it. Since
you’re here you may as well grab everything else and come in. I don’t
want to be standing out here looking ungrateful when they pull up.
Besides, I may need to do some quick dusting.”
“Just
show me where you want things and I’ll help you out. Quick as a
whistle I’ll get it done. You know I’m considered a speed demon.” He
did a few simulated block maneuvers around her and she laughed. “See,
I’m so quick you didn’t see that coming. Made you laugh and pulled the
old Debney right outta you.” Standing on the top step of the porch
Giante’ did a Superman pose. Hands on hips and chest expanded. “Be
gone new Debney. Long live the old.”
“Be
gone almighty Giante’ so I can unlock the door.” She attempted to
swing the bags in her hand in his direction and almost lost her
balance.
“Careful. You seem to always be tittering on the verge of falling. Is that normal? Are you sick?”
“How
would I know what normal is? I shouldn’t have been going up the step
while trying to swing a bunch of heavy bags that’s all. Move you’re
blocking the door.”
She elbowed her
way between him and the door and with shaking fingers she turned the
lock. As soon as they stepped over the threshold and walked through the
foyer and down the long hallway to the living room/kitchen area it
was plain to see some quick dusting was definitely in order, along
with the lighting of a few aromatic candles.
“Dang, Debney when is the last time the maid has been here?” Giante’ looked under the cabinets for cleaning supplies.
“You
know I don’t live in here. I fired the service at least six months
ago.” She pointed towards a small door by the pantry. “Cleaning supplies
are in there. I’m going to do some spraying of Febreeze and lighting
those candles my mom never wanted to use. You get to dusting in the
foyer, Mr.”
“You might want to turn the air on full blast too. That’s the main problem; it’s hot and stuffy in here.”
“I
just didn’t see the reason to keep the air conditioning running when
no one is ever here. When I come in I come through the patio door I
grab what I need and leave.”
“Well,
if you want my opinion I think you need to rehire the maid service and
give this place a thorough cleaning. You’re having a baby soon for
Christ’s sake. This is where people will come to pay homage. No one
will want to tramp through the bushes and into a tiny guest house.”
“I
know it’s part of my working plan for the rest of the week. Cleaning,
remodeling, and redecorating. I plan on spending the weekend floating
in the pool like a beached whale not running around like a wobbling
bear with an aerosol can to spray unscented odor in vacant rooms.”
“You’re
going to get in the pool alone.” Giante’ stopped in his act of
dusting to place his hands on his hips. “That’s dangerous you know.”
“Of
course I’m not going to be alone. Nadine comes to stay every weekend.
Haven’t you seen that through your never clever habit of spying on
me?”
“I don’t be spying. I’m just keeping an eye on you and things. Trying to make sure no one tries to bother you.”
“Yeah,
well you’ve made your mom suspicious. She came over here a few months
back. Lectured me on my wild ways, admonished me for being pregnant,
tore a little flesh off by reminding me if I had gone on vacation with
you guys I wouldn’t be in the shape I’m in now. And then she tried to
get me to assure her that she was not about to be a grandmother.”
“What did you tell her?”
“Of
course I apologized profusely for my stupidity, denied your possible
involvement, cried a lot about my family and then laughed as she
walked out of the door. What the hell did you want me to tell her?
What should I have said? Oh Mrs. De Vries I’m 100% positive Giante’ is
not the daddy.” Her sarcasm evident in the high pitched little girl’s
voice she used. “Or would it have been better to say, Oh, Mrs. De
Vries if I had only gone with you there wouldn’t be a chance in hell
Giante’ could be the father. You know either scenario would be a lie.
We would have gotten together sooner or later and I have no clear clue
on the father of this baby.”
Giante’ silently glared at Debney until she dropped her gaze in shame and continued lighting the candles.
“Yeah, I know. I think things just got out of hand that night. I….”
“I’m
sorry. I don’t mean to keep hurting your feelings. Let’s not have
that discussion right now Giante’, really. I can’t go through it
anymore. It is what it is and nothing can be done to change anything
and people are coming.”
“You’re always blowing me off Deb. I need to know how to plan the rest of my life. Sooner or later we have to settle things.”
“Well, you’ll just have to wait until later. They’re here.”Smashwords
Amazon
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THE FISHING TRIP(Suspense/thriller)
What readers are saying about THE FISHING TRIP
The jumping back and forth works perfectly, as does all of the situations Ms Wade has created.
I would highly recomend this book as a must read. I was unable to put it down, and felt a part of the story imbedding itself into me. 100% perfect !!!!
EXCERPT:
CHAPTER 1
What readers are saying about THE FISHING TRIP
5.0 out of 5 stars Child Molesters Are Dead Fish In This Thriller, April 17, 2011
By
Debra JohnsonAmazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: THE FISHING TRIP-A TRIAL BY WATER, EXECUTION AND A DELIVERANCE OF RETRIBUTION (Kindle Edition)
This
was a realistic tale of taking justice in your own hands. What stood
out was the characters. I could feel their anger and taste their need
for vengence. You hate to sympathize with this varied group of outlaws
but you find yourself rooting for them as they take child rapist off
the roles of society. Ms. Wade has done her home work on this book.
Five stars....a great read at a steal of a price. Highly recommend
4.0 out of 5 stars A solid read, well-written and engaging., June 28, 2011
A
cleverly spun tale of retribution featuring a well-rounded cast of
characters. It's clear the author has done extensive research on the
subject of child abuse and is truly trying to make a difference with
this book. I wish the nefarious nature of the town were explained a bit
more but overall there was a nice balance of dialogue and exposition. A
solid read, well-written and engaging.
5.0 out of 5 stars A Perfect Read !!!!, May 2, 2011
By
sjp (uk) - See all my reviews
This review is from: THE FISHING TRIP-A TRIAL BY WATER, EXECUTION AND A DELIVERANCE OF RETRIBUTION (Kindle Edition)
Ms
Wade, has shown the mastery that she truly has in the writing,
construction, and execution of this book. It tells of how once you are
something, no matter how well you try to mask yourself, the truth will
ALWAYS rear its ugly head. The jumping back and forth works perfectly, as does all of the situations Ms Wade has created.
I would highly recomend this book as a must read. I was unable to put it down, and felt a part of the story imbedding itself into me. 100% perfect !!!!
4.0 out of 5 stars Can you ever escape your past?, May 1, 2011 Debbie - This
is a complex story dealing with complex issues. Wade cleverly
intertwines past and present as we learn how the events of childhood
shape the present lives of a family torn apart by betrayal and abuse.
Just how far will one man go to exact revenge for the death of his
sister? A
satisfying read after the loose ends were tied and I came away
realising that no matter how often you change your identity and start
over, you can never escape who you are inside.
CHAPTER 1
kerplunk
“My arms are tired, Durham. I’ve been rowing this boat for the past twenty minutes. My fingers are getting blisters. And if it weren’t so dark you would see I have a huge splinter in my palm. Why is it you always make me do the rowing on these trips?”
“Stop whining, Penny. Do you want to do my job? Do you think it’s easy to do what I do? Do you think it doesn’t tire me to crack someone’s neck with my bare hands?”
“I’m sure it does. I don’t know how you do it. Just hearing the sound of a person’s bones breaking makes me shudder and gag. Knowing I am hearing them release their last breath makes me wanna vomit.”
“That’s how I felt at first, but now I just want to get the job over and collect my pay. You can stop rowing we’re almost there. Pull the oars in and be careful with the poles. I don’t want you to hit this fool on the head.”
“What difference would it make? He is dead right?”
“Yeah, but I want no excess marks on the body or blood in the boat. Give me that rope from behind your back so I can tie this tarp around his body.”
Penny reached behind her and felt for the presence of the rope. Her fingers sliding on the damp wood encountered what she thought was rope, the slimy patches of surface causing doubt and illusions of Water Moccasins to cross her mind. Pumping her bravery she yanked it up, held it far away from her body, and pushed it towards Durham. The heavy weight and wiggle of the object not counteracting her thoughts of clearing the fear from her mind, for all she knew what she held gingerly between her fists was really a snake.
“Here it is, Durham. Stretch out your hand its right in front of you. Damn it’s dark. I can barely see your hands.”
“You tryin’ to say I’m too black to see in the night?”
“No. I know those are gloves you have on. I’m just saying it’s too dark out here tonight. I don’t even know how you know what’s really going on around you. We’ve been on the water three times this week and each time you knew exactly where to stop and it has been dark as all hell.”
“Experience pays off. I’m a creature of habit.”
“Sometimes that’s not a good thing, Durham. It could be your downfall.”
“It will never be mine. Cover your face there’s going to be a big nasty splash when this sloppy fat bastard hits the water.”
As the water rushed into the air and the odor of rot and death seeped in through her nose and flowed quickly and deeply to the pit of her empty stomach, she gagged. The small indention behind her ears began to burn, bile rose to her throat and she fought hard not to release the contents of her stomach in retaliation.
“Oh hell….” Retching fruitlessly, Penny pulled the neckline of her shirt to cover her mouth and nose. “You weren’t kidding. That….damn….water….stinks.” Her retching sounds causing a pause between each of the four words. “How many bodies have you fed to the fishes?”
“Too many to count and if I tell you….well you know the old saying. Hand me the oars. I’ll row back.”
“Thanks.”
Penny gripping the edge of the rocking boat tightly looked around at her surroundings. It was nightmarish dark. No stars, eerie clouds moved stealthy across the sky and a sliver of moonlight peered through the thick foliage of the trees surrounding the spot where the body had disappeared. It was damned spooky. If any kind of water monster wanted to jump up and grab them and pull them into the deep blackness, this would be the perfect spot. They would disappear and no one would have any idea where to search for them. She shivered in the cool darkness; they were as much a part of the shadows as death was a part of the waters.
“Where do you think the bodies go, Durham?” She whispered just in case one of those monsters from her childhood nightmares was more than a figment of her imagination. “I’ve never heard of anyone talking about bodies resurfacing so they must fall pretty deep or something eats them.”
Durham laughed at the fear showing in the expanse of the white in her eyes. She held her arms crossed tight across her stomach, the rocking of her body having nothing to do with the movement of the water.
“You’re not afraid of the dark are you Penny?”
“Hell fuckin’ yeah. Petrified pissless and I’m not ashamed to say it, either.”
Durham chuckled between the strokes of the oar.
“Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard anyone say that. You can stop being afraid. Nothing is going to stick its long slimy arm out of the water and yank you out the boat.”
“That’s not funny at all Durham.” She looked around and shivered even more. “Now that you’ve read my mind I’m really scared. It makes me wonder if you’ve ever seen anything creepy out here.”
“Well, if you must know, sometimes when I’m sitting on the porch of that little cabin up there, I look across the water and think I see a specter of a woman or a girl. I’m not sure which it is.”
“Really?” She didn’t know whether to be excited of afraid. “Where exactly does she be when you see her?”
“I’m kidding Penny, geeze. I’m probably just seeing the smoke from the cigar I smoke. In a couple of minutes we’ll be close to the shore. And don’t worry about any of those bodies coming up because I know for a fact they fall into a huge cavern and just keep on going. The cavern has a vacuum like suction, things go down and nothing comes up. That’s why I always make you stop rowing at the large cluster of branches jutting out at the curve back there. The current is strong and I don’t want to get sucked in. If there were any stars in the sky I would be able to show you where the safety rope was tied. It’s there in case we ever fall into the water. Remind me to bring a flashlight the next time we come out so I can show you. Talk about a scary adventure falling in the lake and catching the ends of that slimy rope at just the right moment, exhilarating. ”
“You get a thrill from danger, don’t you?”
“Yup, I get more of a thrill from getting paid big bucks for dropping sloppy fat bastards in a watery hole.”
“I think the real thrill for you comes from getting rid of perverts. These guys deserve everything they get.”
“You know it. This last one wiggled his way into the life and home of a single mom with three little kids. Poor woman really thought he loved her and all he wanted was to get into her bank account and to rape her children.”
“Sorry bastard.”
“Sorry dead bastard. I hope he rots in hell.”
“You know I think it’s a good thing to get child molesters off the street…hell out of the world, but how are you so sure you’re are getting the right people? What if you make a mistake and take the wrong person on a trip?”
“I don’t worry about it.”
“Wha…?”
“I’m kidding. Duck your head and watch the branches. I do my research every time I get a request for a fishing trip. I check the person and their habits out thoroughly. Almost every one of these guys uses the internet for child pornography. I find what they think are a commonality and build from there. I never take a trip if it seems like the guy is innocent.”
“But who makes the call…uhm request? How do you know they are being honest? What if a person is being set up?”
“I do a thorough search on both sides and I've never made a mistake. Why are you asking me these questions, Penny? Are you starting to be afraid of the water?”
“I guess because you use me as bait. We've been on the water three times this week. I’ve had to sit around and let what I know to be fat slimy child raping pigs, paw me relentlessly and spit lies and profanity in my ear because they think I am an innocent teenager. I sit in a tiny rowboat, in the cold dark of night as you take them through their make-shift trial, sentence, and execution. Then I have to row a constantly rocking boat in the dark with a dead body at my feet. Taking all of these trips is making me believe I’m beginning to get immune to the act of death.”
“I hate to say it, but you will never get truly immune. It’ll probably become easier to accept the act, but believe me it will stay with you. The last girl to be my bait is dead now. She killed herself.”
“Well, I’m not gonna kill myself. How did you get into this business anyway?”
“Again, if I tell you…”
“You’ll have to kill me, I know. You’re like an old movie sometimes with all of your clichés and your ‘theme’ song.”
“Hey don’t knock my having a theme song. The smartest woman I know advised me to get one. It took years to find the right one and it fits. It keeps me focused.”
“Musta been an old lady.”
“Yeah, but you would love her. Whoa….sorry about hitting the platform so hard. Wait a minute before you stand and watch your step as you get out of the water. Every time you get out of the boat you fall.” He chuckled. “Think you would have caught on by now.”
“You would think. It just takes a while for me to get my land legs back and now that it’s starting to rain I really want to move faster. Do you need me to help you tie the boat or something?”
“No, but you can take my phone from my jacket pocket and tell me what the text is saying. Someone is really trying to get in touch with me. They’ve texted ‘bout four times already. Take it and move away from the water. I just bought that phone.”
“I’ll just go up the bank to the parking lot. I’ll be in your car. I’m too cold to stand out here.”
“Fine, and remember not to touch anything. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“I know, I know.”
*****
“Hey
wake up. Whatcha doing sitting here with the car door unlocked? Didn’t
you hear me tapping on the window? I just decided to try to open the
door and you almost fell into my lap.”“No, I didn’t hear anything.” She slid over to the passenger seat of the car. “I left the door unlocked for you. I thought it wasn’t going to take you long to get here.”
“Sorry it took me more time than I estimated. I had to make sure nothing was left in or on the boat.”
“You weren’t that long. I’m just tired.”
“I know what you mean. So, what did the text say?”
“Someone wants to set up a fishing trip.”
“Are you in? Listen, if you don’t want to do this anymore I understand. What happened with that guy tonight was uncalled for. I tend to forget how dangerous and rough some of them are. I know you have a kid and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“My kid is the reason I help you. You’re doing a good thing, Durham. A real good thing and I’m proud of you. Too many of those perverted bastards out there hurting kids. You protected me better than I did myself. I trust you. Yeah, I’m in.”
“Great.” He released the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding in with a gush. “I’ll drop you off at your car and then call the reservationist and find out the particulars. As soon as I know what’s what I’ll give you a call and see how to set things up.”
“How soon do you think it will be?”
“Not too soon. These things sometimes take a while. Some of the perves are really smart. They don’t all work alone, you know. What would really make me feel like I’m doing something is to get a large group of the filthy bastards and blow them the hell up.”
“It’s a noble but probably unattainable goal.”
“Ya, never know. Okay, we’re here. You can get out. Don’t forget. I’ll call you so don’t try calling me. It might be a few days or maybe even a week so don’t get antsy and call me, especially not on this cell number.”
“Don’t worry I remember the drill. I go home, get on with my life as usual and when its time, you’ll make arrangements and invite me on a fishing trip.”
“You got it. Now, shut the door it’s raining on my seats. Talk to you later.”
He drove off as soon as the metal of the door connected with the metal of the car’s frame.
If you are interested in reviewing this book, please contact me. imtheauthor@gmail.com
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THE PERFECT SOLUTION--A SUSPENSE OF CHOICESAnger destroys a relationship.A teenage babysitter decides to go to college.A single parent places her child in daycare.A three year old is mistakenly given to a stalker by his pre-school teacher.When Saturday mornings rolled around Catrine Teddi would bring her three year old son Brhin to eat breakfast at Mc Donald’s. It was an established routine to mark a day of errands and familial bonding. She never paid attention to Mona Boots sitting in the shadows across the play yard watching the little boy.
Mona,
deciding she wanted Brhin as her own, spent weeks stalking him and his
mother. In her delusion to finally do something right in her life she
enters The Perfect Solution Childcare Center and leaves with
Brhin-Kristoffer Teddi in her arms. It’s a choice she is prepared to
defend.
EXCERPT
“Austin”
Yanking
his coat from the back of the wood slated chair and practically
tipping it over with the momentum of his movements, Austin Sanchez
practically ran out of the detective's office. Outside of the door, he
angrily pushed his arms into the sleeves of his smoke gray leather
jacket and jabbed the 'down' button of the elevator.
"Doctor
Sanchez." The detective poked his head out of his door. "Don't forget
that you have to remain in town. Until your son is found, you are
unfortunately considered a suspect."
"I'm
not about to forget that too soon." Austin answered in a flat furious
tone. He stepped into the elevator and stalled the door's closing by
putting his foot in the doorway. "Just keep my name and number close at
hand; you may want to put it on your list as a murder suspect before
the night is over."
"Listen,
Doctor Sanchez, don't do anything you’ll be sorry about," Warned the
detective, pointing his pen towards Austin. "You'll find yourself right
back up here and not sitting comfortably in my little office."
"Never
fear, if I do anything, I can guarantee you I won’t be sorry." He
jabbed his finger into the button that closed the door.
Shaking
his head as the doors closed, the detective empathized with Austin's
feelings. What a hell of a way to find out you’re a father. He had seen
and heard a lot of things during his years as police detective, but
this was a new one. To never know that you are a parent and then to get
the knowledge when your child is missing had to be a horrendous blow
to both your ego and your sense of righteousness.
Remembering
the shocked look on Austin Sanchez's face, he had no doubts that the
man knew nothing about the child's whereabouts. As a matter of fact, he
had been afraid he would have to call the paramedics. The poor guy had
looked like he was about to have a stroke.
"Man,
what way to find out you are a father," The detective repeated out
loud. Slipping his arms into the sleeves of his coat, he too left the
building.
Unknowingly
echoing the detective's thoughts, Austin stepped from the elevator and
walked out of the police station. He was so pissed, the words swirled
around in his head at such a rapid pace, he could barely think. If it
hadn't been for the fact he was dead tired from spending the past
eighteen hours between two different surgeries, he felt as if he could
drive straight to Catrine's apartment and beat the life out of her. But
then again, he was really tired. He needed a shower, a bottle of extra
strength aspirin and a cup of coffee.
From
the moment he had gotten home from work and heard the message on his
answering machine telling him to report to the detective's office or
face the possibility of being arrested, Austin had thought that there
was nothing left in the day to shock him. Finding out he was a father
and being accused of that child's abduction, had definitely taken him
on a trip to another dimension. He recalled each step of the visit with
each step he took towards his car.
******
"Come in Doctor Sanchez."
The
detective ushered Austin into the cramped little room and directed him
to a slate backed chair at a long wooden table. Shutting the door, he
sat opposite of Austin with his arms folded, rocking back and forth on
the rear legs of the chair. He studied Austin as if he were staring at a
specimen under a microscope. Then, without uttering a word, the
detective let the chair fall back on all four of its legs, the sudden
thud startling in the quiet room. Tapping the unsharpened end of his
pencil on the table as he studied the notes in front of him, the
detective repeatedly hummed a couple of tuneless notes.
Austin,
assuming that this was another form of police psychological torture,
nervously glanced around the small room. It was a mess. The clutter made
him fill slightly claustrophobic. Shelves, floor, and table were
packed with files, office equipment, and other office paraphernalia.
There was barely enough room for him to move. Breathing slowly, Austin
strove to put on the face of extreme confidence. After all, he had done
nothing wrong. He had stolen nothing. No one had died on the operating
table while in his hands and he owed no one any money. So what was the
problem? Why had he been called here? He could feel himself slipping
into the Black man's sense of injustice and fear. No matter how
professional a Black man became, the idea of dealing with the law could
put mortal fear into his soul.
Examining
the tips of his manicured nails and then the tips of his well shined
shoes, he waited for the detective to stop the tuneless humming and
speak. When the humming stopped, Austin thought he was about to learn
the reason for his summons and he sat up straight, but he was mistaken.
He watched the detective with a burning anger as the man tossed the
useless pencil, pushed back his chair and moved away from the table,
crossing the room to the coffee maker.
"Would you like a cup of coffee, Doctor Sanchez?"
"Why
not, I guess I have nothing to lose by taking a cup." Deciding to get
the show on the road, he employed sarcasm as his tool. "Maybe after
that, you will tell me why you requested my company. Unless you called
me here because you were lonely."
"No."
The detective returned to the table and placed one of the cups he was
carrying, in front of Austin. "Loneliness doesn’t happen to be one of
my problems. As a matter of fact, my problem is really your problem."
He took a sip from his cup.
Copying
the detective's moves, Austin irritably took a drink from his coffee.
The damned little detective was working on his last nerve. Having to
sit at the beck and call of a White man made him want to return to his
belligerent, defiant, and ignorant days in the Hood. The gulp of
scalding coffee brought his control into focus and he coughed in
annoyance. Slamming the cup on the table and spilling a few drops in the
process, he then mimicked the detective's rocking movements.
"Doctor Sanchez where is your son?"
"What?"Austin
let the chair's legs fall back to the floor with a bang. "I don't have
a son. If you called me in here to badger me about some unknown child,
then I'm afraid you called in the wrong person." Austin stood to
leave.
"Do you know a Catrine Nechelle Teddi?"
"Yes,"
Austin answered hesitantly before he turned and gazed doubtfully on
the detective. "I haven't seen her for a few years, though."
Pointing to the empty chair with an ink pen, a sure sign they were now getting to work the detective resumed his interrogation.
"When was the last time you saw your son?"
"I
have never seen my 'son', because I don’t have one." Austin getting
more irritated as the moments passed emphasized his response angrily as
he ran his fingers through his hair.
"From
what Ms. Teddi has told us, you do. The child is three and a half." He
picked up the sheet of paper. "He was born on the twentieth of
September."
"What?"
He resumed his seat slowly, staring at detective in astonishment. "You
mean you're telling me that Catrine had my child and she didn't let me
know?"
"Is that what you’re telling me?"
"Yes."Austin
covered his mouth in shocked disbelief. "How could she do such a
thing? Isn't there a law against that or something? How can a woman
keep the knowledge of a child from its father and there not be a law
against it? Wouldn't that be like kidnapping or something?" He stared
at the detective, but did not really see him. His mind, desperately
trying to assimilate what it had heard, refused to take in anything
else.
"Have you and Ms. Teddi had an argument lately?"
"I just finished telling you that I haven’t seen her in a few years. I'm talking about over four years, here."
"Four years," The detective repeated the words in disbelief. “So you're trying to tell me you don't know where the boy is."
"He's
missing? You brought me here, tell me about a child I have never seen
and then you tell me that he is missing. Am I going to be considered a
suspect? Wait a minute; I am a suspect, right" Austin stood in
agitation and paced the room. “Do you think that I took him?"
"Sit
down, Sanchez." The detective stood and put his hand on his hip. His
solid stance and the hand nearest the gun in his holster intimidating as
hell and Austin sat."The mother reported the child missing and we
always check with family members, first. You are not the only one we
will question."
"I
just can't believe this." Austin shook his head in stupefaction.
“Catrine had my child and didn’t let me know. Do you have a picture of
my son?" He looked across the room at the detective.
"No,
an officer is on the way to meet Ms. Teddi now to get one." He sat
back down. "I won't be able to keep you too long, but I do have a few
questions that I want to ask you. I want to ask you a few questions
about your activities throughout today. So sit back and calm down."
Taking
a deep breath and picking up the cup of coffee so his hands would be
occupied, he had spent the better part of the past two hours sitting in
that hard bottomed slate backed chair, repeatedly answering the same
questions until he thought he would burst with anger and frustration.
"Listen,
I don’t know how differently I can answer you. I have never seen him. I
have already told you the same thing repeatedly I have no ideas about
an abduction. For all I know the child is not even my son."
He
had stressed the statement. Losing all patience, but to no avail. The
questions continued. Do you know Catrine Teddi? Where does she live?
When was the last time you had any contact with her? How long have you
known her? Do you think she would harm her own child? The same
questions, the same answers except for the one that he had no answer
for. Why had Catrine kept the boy a secret?
Angrily
striding through the parking garage without a glance to his
surroundings, Austin walked past his car and huffed irritably when he
had to turn and retrace his steps. Pushing the button that activated the
engine of his car, he cursed extensively when the car protested with
an irritating grinding squeal as it was thrown into the wrong gear.
"When
I get to my apartment and take a shower, I'm going to call Catrine,"
he promised himself aloud as he restarted the car. "I should just pop
up at her house. I still remember her address. Hell, I should. It took
me damned near a year to stop driving past there. This time, I will be
damned if I just pass by."
Fifteen
minutes later, Austin was parking his hunter green Chevrolet Crossfire
near the door of his apartment when he noticed a police car sitting
across the street and cursed again as he slammed the car's door.
"When
I get close to Catrine it will be nothing nice," he muttered aloud.
"First, I get the humiliating visit with the police and now I have a
police car sitting outside of my apartment, watching me as if I’m some
common criminal."
Running
up the stairs and opening his apartment door, Austin immediately went
over to the telephone and punched out Catrine's number with the tip of
his middle finger, cracking the nail with the force of his anger.
"Same
number," he grumbled when he heard her voice on the machine. "I bet
the girl is still driving that dangerous little sporty Jaguar, and with
my son in it, no less."
Barely
able to restrain himself from voicing his anger and frustration, he
left a brief message on her answering machine; he let out an utterance
of irritation which sounded more like a growl before slamming down the
receiver and began to strip for a shower. Standing rigid under the
water and hoping that the soothing drops would calm him, he closed his
eyes and turned his face to the stinging hot spray. As the water ran
down his cheeks he let himself remember the last night they had spent
together.
Over
the years that they had been apart, he had dared himself to even bring
her name to memory. It had hurt him deeply when their relationship
ended and his male pride refused to let him go crawling back. Until the
day Catrine had thrown him out of her life, he had not realized just
how much she had meant to him. He’d felt as if he would die and had
spent many days on the verge of tears. For a man of his years that had
been a new experience. He had walked around his apartment with barely
enough energy to move. He couldn't concentrate. A terrible thing when
you are a surgeon. Finally, he had run to his mother like a wimpy
little woman and cried on her shoulders. He told her how clinging
Catrine had become. How much the girl wanted him in her life and how
much the idea of living with someone frightened him.
"Tin,"
his mother sat on the sofa looking up at him in barely disguised
amusement. She patted the palm of her hand on the cushion next to her
"Honey,
sit. You’re hurting my neck. What with me looking up at the ceiling
and swinging my head to follow you as you wear out the carpet with your
incessant pacing; I may never be able to use my neck again." She
laughed and patted the spot again when he scowled. "Honey, if you cared
that much for this girl, why in the world did you break up with her?
She sounded like a dream to me."
"What
are you talking about, Mom? Didn't you hear what I said? This woman
believed that she owned me. Every time I turned around, she was there."
"You mean she stalked you," his mother stated, tongue-in-cheek, almost laughing when he threw his hands in the air.
"No."
He stood back up. "No, I mean it was like we were never apart. She was
just always there. When I got off work, I went to her apartment or she
came to mine. When we could, we ate lunch together. She was just
always there, washing dishes, clothes, cleaning the apartment, cooking,
relaxing...Mom. Mom, stop laughing this isn’t funny. I just felt… I
don't know."
"Loved? Wanted?"
"No,
trapped." he sighed in disgust. "Mom you think this is funny but it
isn't. No matter what I did she never trusted me. She was always
thinking that I am messing around with someone else."
"Was she seeing anyone else?"
"No.
As a matter of fact I'm the only one she ever...why am I having this
conversation with you? I'm going to Dallas' house. He and Houston are
watching the game on television."
"Yeah,
you do that. Your brothers could probably help you a lot better than I
can. I think that sometimes you forget that I am a woman. And as such I
can understand how this girl feels. If I caught your drift, you're the
only person this girl has ever slept with, right?" She continued when
he put his head down and studied the circle he was making with the toe
of his shoe and didn't answer. "Just that fact would make the girl very
emotional. She.... Uhm, what's her name?" His mother stopped in mid
sentence.
"It doesn't matter. I won't be seeing her again."
"Right,"
She scoffed in disbelief. "If it doesn't matter, tell me her name.
Would I like her? How old is she? Where does she live? How long have
you been seeing her? Who are her parents? And she doesn't sleep
around, huh? She sounds like a winner to me."
Austin looked at his mother dubiously.
"Mom, don't worry about it. I'll be fine."
"If you answer a few of the questions I would be able to give you an answer.”
"That's okay Mom. Let it pass. I'll be back." He walked backwards to the door.
"Fine,
go talk to your brothers. Just don't let those chauvinistic macho
older brothers make you feel or do something you'll regret later in
life. Let them make you wimp out of your true feelings. Make you
believe you are whipped or anything. I know how men get when they’re
together. You know I always tell you guys you can tell me anything.
This time I think you may have to do this on your own. Maybe even think
with your heart and not your head."
He
opened the screen and stepped onto the porch. "Yes, Ma’me I will."
He turned and almost ran to his car. Laughing to himself as he got
behind the wheel.
Old
habits die hard. His could mother always make him admit more than he
wanted. Just by sitting and listening. She had never made judgment on
them for whatever they had done. She had let them do it to themselves.
Using subtle questions, knowing smiles, and well-placed remarks, they
had always known how she felt about an incident and what their
responsibilities were.
During
the many more conversations he and his mother had while he was
visiting, he never told her how much he missed seeing Catrine's smile
and hearing her tell the corniest jokes. Nor did he tell her how he
missed the conversations he and Catrine would have after making love.
And
she, as his mother, never dug too deep. She just fed him delicious
home cooked meals and sat near him when he was at his lowest. For the
two weeks he lived in her house, moped around, and welcomed her
comforting words until she had booted him out and ordered him to go
back to work with the promise that his heart would heal and he would
live. Austin hadn't believed his mother's words just like he hadn't
believed that the last night with Catrine would really be the last.
Three
days before that final confrontation they'd had an argument and he had
slammed out of her apartment vowing never to return. A vow he had
stated many times previously, but had never kept. He had always
returned. For some reason they had begun to argue frequently.
Especially during the last two months together.
On
this particular night, Catrine called him and invited him over for
what she called a 'last get together'. She said she wanted to end the
relationship on good terms and so he had gone. The candlelight meal had
been delicious as was their 'get together'. He had been lying next to
her with his eye closed, enjoying the fragrance of her perfume, wishing
they didn't really have to break-up, and basking in her closeness and
the way she was slowly caressing his chest when her words abruptly
scattered the mist of self-satisfaction clouding his brain.
"Austin, don't you think it would be nice if we could be like this every night?" she asked softly.
"Oh, Damn."
Jumping
from the bed, he grabbed his clothes from the floor and virtually ran
from the room. Standing before the sofa in the living room, he made two
futile attempts at pulling on his pants before succeeding.
Shaking
his head in an attempt release some of the anger that was about to
explode through his pores, Austin returned to the present and reached
for the bar of soap, lathered his towel and scrubbed vigorously at his
body with exasperation. No matter how he tried he could not by pass his
memories. He remembered how Catrine looked when she entered into the
living room from the bedroom. She had been securing the belt on her robe
and as she tossed back her beautiful shoulder length hair with one
hand, her small breast had swelled against the silk of the robe,
practically begging for his touch. Giving in to the enticement, Austin
stepped towards her and stopped short at the fury bursting from her
lips.
"What
the hell is wrong with you, Austin?" She put her hand on her hips and
removed them just as quickly when the lapel of the robe gaped open to
expose her nakedness. Closing the gap, she pulled the belt tighter.
Smiling at her belated sense of modesty, Austin pulled on his shirt. "I'm not the one with a problem."
"Well,
it sure as hell isn't me." Her voice rose as did the anger in her
face."I'm not the one that jumped out of bed and ran out of the room.
You act like I'm trying to take away your freedom. Like you thing I'm
going to chain you to a wall or something." She sat on the sofa and
angrily tapped her foot.
"Or 'something' is right. You want to tie me to you."
Austin
paced the living room angrily and when he got near the sofa, he picked
up a small pillow and threw it against the furthest wall in
frustration.
"What in God's name do you want from me?" He asked. "You know I work constantly."
"Damn
it." Catrine picked up the pillow and took her time replacing it on
the sofa. He watched her as she bent and plumped up the pillow. The
delightful shape of her bottom embossed on the silk of the gown.
Smiling
to himself, he remembered how Catrine had turned and saw the look on
his face and had stiffened, looking at him with a slight sneer from feet
to head. She stood in front of him as if she believed she could knock
him down to her size and then had the nerve to blatantly prod him in
his chest in her anger.
"Austin I want you to be faithful to me and if you can't be faithful at least be honest."
"I am honest with you. Is it my fault you think so much of me that you believe every woman that sees me, wants me?"
Catrine
scoffed in amusement."You are so full of yourself, Austin. Do you
honestly think you mean so much to me that I have a need to tie you to
my side?"
"Hell, yes. Girl you know you love me and you'll love me forever."
"I can get over it."
"Yeah
right, I believe that as much as I believe there’s a man in the moon. I
don't know how I can be more honest. I tell you my job schedule. You
know where I am all of the time. My life is not my own. When would I
have time to run around on you? When I am not at work, I am with you.
It's up to you whether or not you believe me. I think the best solution
for us is to be apart."
"Austin,
I can love you for the rest of my life, but that doesn't mean I have
to be a fool for you. You can't give me a clear reason why you won't
live here with me and that keeps me from believing you. We don't even
have to live here. If you worry because the townhouse is mine, I could
move in with you even though this place is larger. Or we can buy
something else. We don't have to live here."
"Damn."
The
argument became much more heated with each one saying hurtful things
until he stormed out of the apartment and never heard from her again.
"And now I find out I have a son and the boy is nearly four years old. I could just beat her." he said aloud.
Reaching
for a bottle of shampoo and pouring it in his hair, Austin rubbed the
thick liquid into frothy foam with vigorous motions. He could almost
feel the many questions banging around in his head. I wonder if he looks
like me. Does he have my eyes? Is his smile anything like mine? Does
the child have Catrine's dimples? And what about the things he knows?
I've missed his first smile, his first step, everything. I wonder if he
thinks about me. I bet the poor little guy probably thinks that I hate
him. A boy needs a father. I would have loved to be part of his life. I
just don't understand how Catrine felt justified in keeping something
like that to herself? How could she have purposely kept me from my
child? We could have discussed the possibility of an imminent child, or
maybe not. True, our relationship may not have been at its greatest,"
he mused out loud. "But she could have told me something."
Moving
back under the spray to rinse the soap from his hair, he cursed loudly
and irritably opened his eyes to try and wash the stinging foam from
their crevices. Thinking about Catrine always threw him into a cyclone
of emotions. He would fly from longing, to anger, to tenderness and then
to frustration because he could never figure her out. Reminiscing
about their earlier days was a lure he had done his best not to fall
into. Sometimes, as he was doing now, he failed miserably. They had
mostly dated and after a month or two, sex had just slipped in. No
strings, no ties. Sure, she had been a virgin, but she had taken
everything in stride and had not tried to push the status of their
relationship into anything more serious until that last month.
Maybe
Catrine had known that she was pregnant and having me move in would
have been her way of telling me. She should not have let me walk out
without telling me that she was pregnant. I could have been with her. I
could have taken care of her. I would have loved to see her as my baby
grew in her stomach. To have been able to rub her stomach, to feel the
child as it kicked joyfully at its surroundings and to run to the store
in the middle of the night. She should have told me about the baby
instead of ending our relationship by throwing me out of her house and
her life.
Stepping
from the shower and wrapping one of the two towels hanging from the
rack around his waist, he used the other to dry his hair. Rubbing the
excess from his face, Austin stared at himself in the mirror.
"Well,
she will not be throwing me out this time. I'll be there until my son
comes home and for whatever time I feel necessary." He promised his
reflection."You need to calm down fellow," he advised his mirrored
image. "Maybe I should cut off the beard." He studied one side of his
face and then the other. "Catrine has never seen me with it and I might
scare the hell out of her. What the hell?" He shrugged. “It will be
better than beating it out of her, which would still be better than what
I will do to the person who took my son."
Read interviews (video)with the characters
If you are interested in reviewing this book, please contact me |
THE WOMEN OF THE HILL
"The Women of the Hill took me by surprise. More a novelette than a full length novel, it's packed full of personality and energy. Within the setting of a close-knit circle of friends, realistically drawn with razor-sharp, true to life dialogue, a plot is woven of African-American women struggling to survive economically and raise their children in the face of marriages and relationships gone wrong. The ending was so surprising and shocking that I was literally biting my nails as I whipped through the pages. Ey Wade knows how to portray real characters and tell a story with equal parts humor and pathos...a story that never loses its punch." Georgina Young-Ellis
EXCERPT:
PART ONE
"The Women of the Hill took me by surprise. More a novelette than a full length novel, it's packed full of personality and energy. Within the setting of a close-knit circle of friends, realistically drawn with razor-sharp, true to life dialogue, a plot is woven of African-American women struggling to survive economically and raise their children in the face of marriages and relationships gone wrong. The ending was so surprising and shocking that I was literally biting my nails as I whipped through the pages. Ey Wade knows how to portray real characters and tell a story with equal parts humor and pathos...a story that never loses its punch." Georgina Young-Ellis
EXCERPT:
PART ONE
Initiation
Placing
the nearly empty glass of orange juice back on the table and wiping
the excess moisture from her palms Bianca picked up her journal and
read the words she had just written. The words were an accumulation of
at least three years of a relationship and a life time worth of change.
Even the names in the journal were fictitious.
*****
I’m
not even going to lie to you, yes; I was a whore for Sam. At one time I
would have done just about anything asked of me to be a part of Sam’s
world. Yes, Sam took care of me and he did a very good job of it, too.
The degradation of the arrangement was the horror of it. I guess you
would wonder how, huh? Well, Sam is not my lover. As a matter of fact
our relationship was not of the intimate kind, at least not physically.
The truth is I have never met Sam on a personal face to face level.
Every facet of our relationship had been arranged through another.
What
distresses me the most about letting Sam take care of me is the
reality that for such a long time I depended on him to be my only
source of support. From the very beginning Sam gave me everything food,
clothing, money, housing, and medical coverage. When he turned his
back on me without warning, I was truly devastated. With him, I wanted
for nothing. Nothing but a peace of mind that is, because Sam was
extremely jealous.
In
the beginning, he was like a fairy godfather. Everything he promised
he delivered, eventually even this began to pall. He was so demanding.
In order to continue receiving support from Sam, I had to report all of
my personal and private affairs to his hired financial wizards every
three to six months or within ten days if any kind of changes occurred
in my life. Sam found it hard to understand that having a minimum wage
job, going to school, or getting a hand out from a friend did not
generate funds into a bank account. At the crucial moment when it
looked like I was about to step out on my own, Sam would turn his back
on me. He would toss me to the side like worthless trash with barely
enough to survive and then my only recourse would be to crawl back to
him for help.
The
very first time I came in contact with Sam, life had already beaten
and humiliated me into thinking I was a worthless human being. I’d
talked myself into having a very low opinion of the sorry way I was
living and providing for my six-month-old daughter. We were trying to
live off funds acquired before I was terminated from my job as a
medical office assistant and it wasn’t working. Things were so tight I
was having a hard time keeping food on the table and the bills paid.
After three months of scrimping, I was just about ready to give up and
move in with my mother and when my friends hooked me up with Sam.
Whenever
my girlfriends and I got together for our daily ‘4:00 Bash the Stress’
sessions (which was really our way of legitimizing watching Oprah
everyday), I cried on their shoulders. I’d been doing this so often they
began to laugh at me as soon as I opened my mouth to complain. Each
one in turn advised me to get in touch with Sam. ‘Sam is the man’ said
one. ‘He could solve all of your problems’ said another. I heard them
say ‘Sam could do this and Sam could do that’ so often that one day as
we sat in my living room chewing on chips and watching Oprah, I found
the courage to ask…
“Who is Sam?”
“Girlfriend…”
This
was Tone’ya Knoes about to answer. Tone’ya is thirty-two years old,
the encyclopedia of our group. She’s loud, assertive, and the
well-informed mother of two daughters. No truer friend could be found.
With
a Humph at the end of the word, she stood in front of me with her
hands resting on her well-endowed hips and shook her head from side to
side like a broken shutter. She snapped her fingers two times in an
arch above her head and clicked her tongue to the rhythm of the
snapping fingers.
“Girl,
don’t you know anything? Wake up, girl.” She snapped her fingers under
my nose.” Sam is the only person that can help you. He takes care of
us.” She swung her arm to include the three women sitting in front of
the television. “How do you think we all make it?”
“I thought you all had a ‘man’.”
They all laughed.
“Of course we do. The thing is; can we depend on them?” Tone’ya questioned with a smirk.
“No.”
All of the women shouted in unison and laughed even louder. They shared high-fives and fell all over themselves in merriment.
“How
many of you here can depend on your ‘man’ to remember that you need
your bills paid?” She pounded her fist in her opened palm like a
frustrated lawyer making a final statement. “Food on the table, pampers
on the baby’s butt and most important…money in your pockets?”
Tone’ya did the snap and arch thing again and everybody in the room cheered while laughingly bemoaning the faults of their men.
“Well,
I can.” Skinny Rayne Moore, the youngest woman in the group stood next
to the television and put her hands on her hips in imitation of
Tone’ya.
Whoever
this Sam was, I thought. It was obvious it didn’t matter to him how
old or young a woman was. Rayne was just making twenty years old. She
shook her shoulders, making her breast bounce heavily and gave a very
seductive smile.
We continued to laugh.
“You laugh, but I know my man takes care of me.”
“Who
are you talkin’ about girl?”Jenny Needs questioned. “I know you not
talkin’ about that fat, sorry ass, cradle-robbin’ Shamel.”
“Honey,
please.” Rayne raised her opened hand, in that talk-to-the-hand
fashion, towards Jenny.”You know what Shamel is for and he’s not ‘fat’
he’s muscular.” We all snickered. “I’m talkin’ about ‘Sam’.” Rayne
ignored our side comments and continued. “Sam will do me no wrong. Sam
is the man. Can I get a witness?”
She
raised her arms in the air and danced around as if she had gotten the
Holy Spirit. Amen sister and you go girl were repeated over and over as
we laughed.
“So all of you get something from Sam, huh?” I asked after the laughter stopped. “Did you all meet him at the same time?”
“No.” They all answered together.
“I
hate to ask this because you all just don’t seem the type, but do you
all sleep with Sam? Cuz I’m gonna let you know right now, I’m not into
‘kinky’.” I quickly added the last so they would know where I stood.
Getting help was one thing, selling my butt and odd sexual acts were
another story.
“What?
Are you kidding?” Jenny giggled. She pressed her hands over her mouth
as if she were trying to hold in a secret. “Girl, you don’t know what
you’re missing.” She looked around at the other women and began
chuckling like an idiot.
“Oh
my….” Frankie choked back laughter by making quick fanning motions
near her eyes with the fingers of both hands, as she tried to finish
her sentence. “Oh, my God we all meet at Tone’ya’s house…” Tears of
merriment ran down her face. “Around midnight on the first Wednesday of
each month and take turns screwing him on her kitchen table.”
Letting
a loud burst of laughter erupt into the room as she finished speaking,
Frankie fell backwards on the couch laughing uncontrollably. Her
shoulder bumped Jenny who fell on the floor chuckling and snorting.
Rayne and Tone’ya stared at me opened mouth before they too started
laughing. Rayne, jumped around in small circles in her delight and
Tone’ya, in her enjoyment practically skipped around the room. It was a
little while before the loud laughter quieted down to giggles,
suppressed snickers and one of them could finally answer.
“Girl,
I think you need some help.” Tone’ya tapped me on the shoulder in a
consoling manner, wiped her eyes and resumed her seat. “I’ll have Sam
come over here next Wednesday and we’ll do it in your kitchen.”
The
raucous laughter started in the room again. The merriment was
contagious and this time I had to join them. Ignorant to what they found
so funny, but happy to shed some of my misery.
“Seriously now,” Frankie straightened herself before continuing. “Girl, are you crazy. No one sleeps with Sam.”
Stunned, I looked around the room at the smiling women.
“Okay, so none of you go that way. Thank God. So why does he help?”
“I
don’t know and I don’t care.” Tone’ya swiveled her neck side to side.
“I don’t ask why when someone is giving me something. I just take it.”
“That’s
what I’m sayin’.” Rayne agreed. “If I can get me some money and some
help and don’t have to give up no coochie…I’m there.”
Rayne
and Jenny high fived each other as everyone else concurred with the
statement. Still not convinced, I questioned them further.
“Tone’ya, how long have you known Sam?”
“Let’s
see, my girls were three and seven when I first became involved. That
makes it three years. John and I had recently separated and somehow
he’d gotten into the house and taken everything. On that day, I came
home from a horrible day at work. As a matter of fact, I had just been
fired, ‘downsized’ as the boss said. Same difference as I see it. John
had cleaned me out. He had taken everything, the furniture, the food
from the cabinets and even the furniture from the children’s bedroom.
To make things worse, when I went to get the girls from the
baby-sitter, they were gone. Oh, my God I could have killed John. It is
only by the grace of God that he is alive and wherever he is, now. I
couldn’t believe he would do such a thing. I was afraid I would never
see my children again. This is how it happened, a few days before the
big clean out, John and I’d had a serious argument. Major. You know
me,” Tone’ya nonchalantly shrugged off her fault. “If it comes to my
mind, it comes out of my mouth. God, I can remember that argument, I
should say fight, as if it were yesterday…
Bianca
took a deep breath and another sip from her class before getting into
the story Tone’ya told about her reasons for turning to Sam. The chaos
in Tone’ya’s life both disturbed and aroused feelings of anger.
Pressing her back into the cushions of the chair, Bianca lifted the
pages of the journal closer in order to read the words better. Hoping
she’d put in just the right amount of emphasis and recorded it just the
way Tone’ya had told it.
*****
"Tone'ya,
I've had it with you.” John held Tone'ya pressed against the wall by
the grip he held around her throat. “I don't know who the fuck you think
you are, but I'm sick of you thinking you can order me around.”
The
malodorous smell of his breath rushed through her nostrils and made
her want to vomit. Trying to keep herself from gagging, Tone’ya twisted
her head from side to side to move her nose from his breath's direct
noxious path and he pressed his face closer to hers until the tip of
their nostrils touched.
"If you went
out and got a job," She belligerently squeezed the words around his
clenched fingers. “I wouldn't have to feel like the man in this
marriage. I'm tired of taking care of your business. And I am not a dog
that you can curse and kick whenever you feel like it. I won't accept
it in my house.”
"Yeah, you’re a
dog. You seem to keep forgetting you’re my bitch and you do what I say
when I say it. You seem to have a hard time remembering that you talk
when I say so. You don't know when to keep your mouth shut.”
John
stressed the last four words by banging the back of Tone'ya's head
against the wall. The pain of her head hitting the wall, and the
vibration of the thuds ricocheting through the bones in her head brought
tears to her eyes. She could feel that her nose was still bleeding
from the slap received when he had slammed the back of his hand into
her face. Its warmth was sliding down her lips and dripping off her
chin to the top of her shirt. As a matter of fact, her nose felt like
it was broken. It hurt miserably.
"Okay. Alright. All right, John. Come on. Let go. You're hurting me.” She implored hoarsely.
Tone'ya
pulled uselessly at his arms. Her nails scratching his skin, but not
making a dent in his anger. The tears were running down her cheeks and
air was becoming harder to drag in around his clenched fingers. She
looked into his eyes in useless appeal. John was beyond caring. Turning
her head to the right, she could see their youngest daughter standing
and broken-heartedly crying in the bedroom's doorway.
"John," She looked back into his eyes. “The baby is in the door. Please stop this for their sake.” She pleaded.
"You're
damned lucky.” He pulled her from the wall and shoved her towards the
king sized bed where she landed awkwardly. “I'm gonna get me a beer.
You better make it your business to hurry downstairs and get my dinner
on the table. Come on kid.” Picking up the little girl when he reached
the doorway, John carried her out as he left the room.
Rolling
over on the bed, Tone'ya pulled her knees up to her chest. Rocking in
her pain and anguish, she moaned at the mess her marriage had turned
into. It was time to get out. John was becoming more and more violent
every day. The love was definitely gone.
She
couldn't remember the last time he had even pretended that he cared
for her. Anger was the thing that ruled his life. She was living her
days trying to believe things would get better. Blowing off his angry
outbursts and forgiving him for every burst lip or black eye, he gave
her. She truthfully believed things would change when he found another
job. Being a man, a Black man without a job had to be hard, a tremendous
blow to the ego. But this night was the last straw. A blow to his ego
or not, she refused to stay around and have him taking out his pain on
her. Wearily pushing herself into a sitting position, she cautiously
crossed the room to the bathroom, the queasiness in her stomach causing
her steps to falter.
Leaning over
the sink, Tone'ya ran warm water on a face towel in preparation of
rubbing it across her cheeks. The contact would hurt like hell. She
examined her face and neck in the mirror. Her cheeks were covered in
bruises and scratches. Welts from the grip of John's fingers were
beginning to swell around her throat and she could barely swallow
without feeling pain. It felt as if the bones in her throat were
crushed. She was just about to wash the blood from her face when she
thought better of the idea. Going back into the bedroom, she walked
around the bed and to the closet where she pulled the digital camera
from its top shelf. Crossing to stand in front of the dresser, Tone'ya
watched her reflection's movements in its mirror in order to position
herself correctly in front of the camera. Pressing the button, she took
two quick shots of her frontal view and shots of each side view. She
was going to fix him. Playing time with him was over. John was a sorry
bastard. This would be his last time putting his hands on her and
getting away with it.
"So, you came down, huh? Thought I was going to have to go up and get you.”
John
glanced at her from his position on the couch as she walked down the
stairs. He took a swig of his beer as he studied her silently. Without a
hint of apology, he calmly looked her over before turning his
attention back to the television screen.
“Make
sure you don't open your mouth.” He threatened while shaking the can
of beer in her direction. “Bring your ass in the kitchen and get dinner
on the table.”
Not bothering to make a reply, Tone'ya went to the dishwasher and pulled out a place setting for four.
"Typical
bastard," Tone'ya muttered under her breath. “He can sit around
thinking he's the man, but this is going to be his last night.”
Pulling
one of her larger steak knives from the wooden block holder, she
rotated it as she studied its tip before slowly sliding it back in its
slot. Nope, she wasn't that angry. She would have to be on the brink of
manic to cut off his head and stuff it in the garbage disposal. She
hadn't made it there yet.
Silently, Tone'ya set the table and filled the plates with food. She called the children to the table and sat down herself.
"What's your problem?”
John
walked into the room and slapped Tone'ya hard on the back of her head
before pulling out the chair opposite. Rubbing the offending area and
doing her best to stifle the startled cry she wanted to give at the
increasing pain running through her already throbbing head and the urge
to jump up and stab him in the throat with her fork, Tone'ya nervously
answered.
"There's nothing wrong with me, John.”
"I heard you call the children in and you didn't call me.”
"I
called you.” She rubbed her hand across her eyes and kept her kept
head down as she stared into her plate. “You must not have heard.”
"Yeah, right.”
John answered sarcastically before sitting down.
The
meal was a quiet affair. The children kept shooting glances between
her and their father. Young as they were, both little girls could feel
the tension and neither child said a word until the eldest picked up
her glass of milk. After taking a small sip she looked towards her
father.
“You know what I was thinking, Daddy?”
Tone’ya
immediately stiffened and looked towards the child in consternation.
At the age of seven Khandi had a mind of her own and voiced her
opinions endlessly. Sometimes to her detriment. Tone’ya shifted her
body so that she could be in the child’s view and mouthed the words,
shut up, but the child refused to look in her direction. Her
belligerent gaze was focused on John.
“No, what were you thinking, Honey.”
John’s
glare burned through Tone’ya as he answered the child. She could see
the promise of her taking the repercussions for whatever the child said
clearly written all over his face.
“I
was thinking…” Khandi rolled the glass between the palms of her hands
before continuing. “I was thinking that when I grow up I’m going to cut
your head off and kill you for the way you hurt my Mom.”
“Continue thinking like that and you won’t grow up.”
John
leaned back in his chair and laughed which made the child’s temper
snap and she threw the glass of milk in his direction. Landing with a
thump and shattering on the table in front of John. Rivulets of the
liquid rolled down his cheeks and fragments of the glass lay near and
embedded in his hand. Tone’ya quickly jumped up and moved to stand
between the child and her father.
“You
think I care if you kill me, Daddy?” The child boldly tried to
maneuver her way around either side of her mother who blocked her
efforts. “People die all of the time and it would be better than living
with you and hearing you hurt my mama. I hate you. I wish you would
just choke on your food right now so I could laugh while you die.”
“Go
to your room Khandi.” Tone’ya, keeping her protective stance between
the child and John, moved just enough for Khandi to get away from the
table. She looked into the child’s eyes “I’ll be all right.” She turned
to look at John who had returned to eating his food as if nothing had
happened. “It will be all right.”
Khandi
nodded, took her sister’s hand and walked out of the room. Tone’ya sat
down and pretended nothing had happened. She knew retaliation wouldn’t
come immediately. John enjoyed evoking terror. He would wait until he
thought she had relaxed and then he would pounce and delve out whatever
form of punishment he deemed necessary. When the children were quiet
upstairs in their room, Tone’ya began clearing the table. She slowly
pulled the steak knife from its moorings and laid it under a dishtowel
on the cabinet. This would be the last night. She stood at the sink and
looked out the window.
"Hum, John. Would you go and put the trash to the street, please?"
John
pushed his chair back from the table and stood with a self-satisfied
grin. He sauntered to her side and hit her hard across the butt.
"That's the way to ask me for something. I run this house. You better remember that.”
He rubbed his hand around her butt and roared with laughter as he walked out of the door.
"You better remember that.” Tone'ya repeated his words in mocking tones and laughed.
Walking
to the door, she locked the screen and the inside door. Rushing back
to the kitchen window, she gave a small chuckle at the melee happening
outside. What John hadn't known was that when she had come out of the
bathroom, she’d called the youngest of her three older brothers and told
him what John had done. He’d been really pissed off and had wanted to
come and beat John then and there, but she hadn't wanted her brother in
trouble. He informed her that he knew a few guys who would take care
of John for her and she had agreed. Two guys were outside taking turns
beating the hell out of John. Violence had never been one of her
things, but John had changed all of that for her. He thought he was man
enough to fight someone, she had gotten him someone.
It
wasn't fair that he should fight a woman. If he wanted to be a man, he
should take his problems out on a man. She felt no compunction at
seeing his battered body lying on the sidewalk as she rushed upstairs.
She packed a bag for him; tossed in one of the frontal view images of
herself she had printed out and threw the bag out of the upstairs
bathroom window. It landed on the lawn nearest the driveway.
"Don't come back here, John.” She yelled out of the window. “If you do I will have the police here.”
“And
so…" Tone'ya looked up at me. “That was the end of the marriage. The
next day John broke in, took everything and I never saw John or the
children again.”
Bianca laughed out loud remembering how Tone'ya had laughed when she noticed the look of confusion on her face.
*****
"Were you lying, Tone'ya?" Bewildered, I shook my head in wonder.
"No
girl," She laughed again. “Everything was true up until the last part.
You were sitting there with your mouth wide open and I just couldn't
help myself. The S.O.B. did take the girls but he dropped them back
later in the night, a sorry scare tactic. John didn't want them then and
he doesn't want them now. The smart ass paid for a quickie divorce
without a word to me. As I said, he got in the house, cleaned it out and
sold the house and everything we had bought together and since I had
nothing, I had to join Sam's little circle. I do thank God for Sam. He
gives me a house to live in, food to eat, and medical insurance for the
children. What else could I ask for?"
"Tone'ya
you are so crazy.” Frankie laughed. “I loved the way you sent John
running down the street that night. I watched those guys beating him and
wished I could have gotten in a few lick. He was a horrible person.
Just mean. Tone'ya and I used to live next to each other in our wild
married days before we moved here.” Frankie explained. “Those were the
horror days. I get to laugh more now than I ever did the entire time I
was married.”
"What about you Frankie?" I asked. “How did you get involved with Sam?"
"Well,
it wasn't anywhere near as dramatic as Tone'ya's initiation. My
ex-husband left when the twins were babies. Leroy says he just wasn't
ready to be tied down. Having children in the house on a daily basis
would drive him crazy. He pays a small amount of child support and as
you know, he comes to get them two weekends out of the month. It works
better this way. We're still friends, sort of. At least I don't feel
like killing him anymore. Sometimes I could beat him because his walking
out on me and leaving me with two tiny babies almost drove me insane. I
worked for a couple of years, but I couldn't stand having my children
in the sorry childcare system, let alone couldn't afford it. So, I quit
my job, took them out of the daycare, and have been home ever since.
Four years. I know it was a lot of wasted time, but…" She shrugged her
shoulders. “If things work out and I get more people to let me take care
of their children, I may be able to kiss Sam goodbye, but right now,
I'll just take what he can give me.”
"I
guess that means it's my turn, right?" Rayne questioned me when I
looked at her sitting on the couch. “Okay.” She stood and bowed to each
of us and cleared her throat. "Uhm, uhm I'm really not ready for this
interview. Which camera do I look into? Where's the makeup person?
Someone should have warned me.” She smiled sweetly and played with the
ends of her hair.
"Rayne,
I don't know how they call me crazy when you sit there acting like
you're on a freakin' talk show. Just tell the story already.” Tone'ya
swung playfully at Rayne and purposely missed.
"My
name is Rayne Moore.” Rayne ignored Tone'ya and continued her little
act. “And the two women that were just in front of the camera were Ms.
Tone'ya Knoes and Ms. Frankie Duz. Come back over ladies and wave at the
people. Oh, I'm sorry. The camera is over there.” She pointed to her
right at an imaginary camera. “Okay, okay.” Rayne laughed. She covered
her head with her hands when Tone'ya swung at her again. “I'll just tell
the story. As you know, I just made twenty years old last week and I
have the most beautiful son in the world. His name is Shamey, really
Shamel. He's named after his daddy.” She gushed and smiled prettily.
Sighing like a teenager in love with a movie star.
"I
don't know what you see in that sorry assed, cradle robbing freak
smelly Shamelly. The punk is fifteen years older than you are.” Tone'ya
muttered under her breath.
Ignoring the comment, Rayne continued.
"Shamey
will be two in a few months. I had him in my senior year of high
school. My mom was positively pissed off when I decided not to continue
my education, but I listened to Shamel. Dumb, I know. You all know how
it is, first male and older than me at that. I just believed everything
he said. Shamel promised to take care of the baby and me but so far,
it has only been Sam. I've been with him for about a year and a half. I
got tired of my parents rating on big Shamel every time he came around
and so I hooked up with Sam. He gives me food, money, and medical
coverage for Shamey and me. I'm not saying I will be with Sam forever,
but right now, it does the trick. I moved into this area at the same
time that I hooked up with Sam. It was easy. I joined this program with
Housing, they are connected with Sam and I appreciate that. Most of
the houses on this street have landlords that deal with Housing and I
appreciate that too. This is one of the better neighborhoods. It’s
quiet, no through traffic and it’s clean. The children can play in the
streets and not worry about being run over. I love it here.”
"Well, you should.” Jenny confirmed. “We all live here and you couldn't find better neighbors.”
"Only thing is living here is like living in a girl's town.” Tone'ya moaned. “Only men in sight are below three feet.”
"Shamel is around all of the time.”
"I
can't count that punk. He's a moocher.” Tone'ya dismissed all thoughts
of Shamel with the flick of her hand. “It's so private down here.
There are how many houses on this end of the cul de sac? Five? My house
faces Jenny's and Frankie's faces Rayne's. Phyllis' house is at the
end smack dab in the middle. Sure, it has the greatest view of the
neighborhood, but I always feel that it sits in the direct path of a
reckless driver.”
"That's
why I had the big fence put up. Do you think I spent all of that money
on those fancy black poles and that expensive security system for its
beauty?"
"Naw I thought you bought it to keep out your neighbors.” Tone'ya snickered and caught the shoe I threw at her with one hand.
"Doesn't
seem like its working does it? Actually, I put the fence up when
Rosie's dad ran out on me. This house is much too large for a woman and
one child. It was supposed to be a family home. But now I'm stuck with
it and I'm going to be here forever. So, the gate is for protection
from cars, thieves, and what you call 'men'. What about you Jenny? When
did you get involved with Sam?"
"Not
that long ago. I don't think it has been a year. The only real help I
get from Sam is medical. He gives me about forty dollars for food
because I am a substitute in the schools. As if a sub job will help with
four children. It’s hardly taking care of the boys' pamper needs.”
"That's why I told you to potty train those boys.” Frankie wiggled her pointer finger in Jenny's direction.
"I'm
working on it Frankie. You know how hard it is. They're one and a half
and newly three. The training is just taking a little while. Those
boys are not as easy as the girls were. They act like little monsters
sometimes.”
"It's only because they know how to manipulate. Peter goes to the bathroom at my house without a problem. What you have to do.…"
"Hey,
hey.” I raised my hands and shook my head at the two women. “Hold up a
minute. How did we get into talk of potty training?"
"Sorry.”
Jenny apologized. “Okay, now that the children's father has run out on
us I have to pay rent on my own. Hell, it was hard trying to make sure
that they had enough and then pay the bills so I applied for the
Housing. I still pay my rent, but now I only have to pay a little more
than half of the $800 instead of the full amount. Sam is also supposed
to help with getting child support. So far, it's been a joke. I've been
to court three times. Twice I sat for three hours and the kids' dad
never showed up. They finally came and told me that the sorry bastard
had called in for a change of date. Both times, it was the same thing.
They never inform the mother. You go and stand in line with a bunch of
other women from eight o'clock in the morning until whenever.
You
have to sit in the courtroom and listen to everyone else's business
and then you're brushed off. I was so pissed that second time I made a
futile trip that I refused to leave and waited until I could get a
chance to speak to the judge. I told that man how I had to keep taking
off work to go there and how I was losing money. I really bitched. Here
all the sorry dog had to do was call in with some pitiful excuse and he
didn't have to show up. If the mothers don't come, they take away our
benefits. To Sam's wizards it doesn't matter if you have to leave your
job. I used to think they cared about the kids, but now they have this
saying that they represent no one, but themselves. The judge was a
pretty reasonable guy that day and he set the time for my next
appointment for the afternoon and the little scum can't get out of it.
He has to be there or go to jail. I can't wait.”
"Listen,
Phyl.”Tone'ya reached over the coffee table, deftly took the
television's remote control from Rayne's slack fingers and flicked it
on. This was an action that successfully put an end to the
conversation.”You can't do wrong with Sam even if you use him for a
little while. Instead of you questioning us, go and try him out for
yourself.”
|
Beads on a String-America's Racially Intertwined Biographical History
"If you enjoy reading good genuine history, which is all about people, this is the most innovative and intriguingly honest perception yet, of America's roots and growth. Ey, An amazing work - very labor intensive - and worthy of a PhD (in my humble opinion, but what do I know). Your index is just as intense as the text, for God's sake! Finished your book, "Beads On a String!" Perfect for home-schooling; very complete, heartwarming and winning material" Kathy Brown
"....This is the story of the heroes of our collective past. What is incredibly moving is that so many of these heroes have gone unsung for so long. I can gladly recommend this book to anyone interested in the historical journey of the land we live in. Beyond that, I can just as easily recommend it to anyone who just likes a great read."Jonathan Ellis "
"Ey Wade has written a unique and important book that put all racial History under one umbrella. Wade has done a tremendous job collecting information on all races, and all subjects related to them. "Beads on a String" is a piece of History that was missing until this book came out. I highly recommend this book to anyone wishing to understand more about how multiple cultures shaped the US to what it is today. Two thumbs up! " Lola
DESCRIPTION: Ever wondered what America's history would look like if every race was included in one book? Celebrated daily? History was written in more than Black & White and Beads on a String-America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History lauds loudly the accomplishments of all races that helped make America the great country it has become. America’s glorious multi-racial history is finally acknowledged.
EXCERPT:
ABOUT THE BOOK
This is an independent research and education project
Beads on a String-America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History is a recording of America’s glorious multi-racial history, celebrated within one cover.
Beads
on a String-America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History lauds
loudly the accomplishments of all races that helped make America the great country it has become.
It celebrates such people as Hiawatha,
who fought for freedom of his people. It applauds Lonnie Johnson who
invented the ‘Super Soaker’, Dalip Singh Saund a member of the United
States House of Representatives and Rev. Rick Warren who blessed the
2008 Presidential Inauguration. Beads on a String continue with the
recognition of others such as, Arpad G.C. Gerster who was one of the
first surgeons in America, and Yamato Ichihashi, one of the first
academics of Asian ancestry in the United States. Antonio Meucci
invented the telephone, Michael Jackson entertained; Minoru Yamasaki
second-generation Japanese-American architect designed the World Trade
Center, and Amadeo Peter Giannini who founded the of Bank of Italy,
which later became Bank of America.
Beads
on a String-America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History never
stops celebrating our heritages from the naming of the country by
Martin Waldseemuller to the elimination of overt racial discrimination,
through education, entertainment and to the glorious day of racial,
political and social unification with Barack Obama’s Presidential
election.
Beads
on a String-America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History will
be a great asset to the educational system as well as in the lives of
people all over the world. With the election of Barack Obama as
President, it is clear; America is ready for a change. That change
should take effect within the history books.
Video1:
The inauguration of President Obama ushered in a giant change in America.
Dr. Joseph Lowery former
president of Southern Christian Leadership conference delivers the
benediction as Barack Obama takes the oath as the 44th President of the
United States of America.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure….”
CONTENTS
Quote- A. Philip Randolph "Salvation for a Race"
Introduction-The Purpose of this book
Quote- Dr John Henrik Clark
Chapter I-America
Quote- Carlos Bulosan "America is in the Heart"
Immigration Timeline
The Naming of America
Discovery of America
The Formation of America
Reason for Colonization
Quote--John Hope Franklin
Chapter II-Slavery and Discrimination
Label My Race Human
The Beginning of Slavery in the United States
Slavery as an Economy
Quote-Charles Evan Hughes
Dred Scott Decision
Racial Discrimination
Chapter III-Voices of Change
The Civil Rights Movement /Organizations
Chapter IV-Biographies of Notable Contributors to America's Growth…
Activism and Abolitionism
Government Leaders
Religious Leaders
Scholars and Educators
Inventors/ Scientist
Artists, Architects, and Designers
Authors and Publishers
Business
Sports
Film, Television, Entertainment and Media
Videos
A Change Has Come
Yes, We Can
Martin Luther King
From Martin to Obama
Lift Every Voice
We Shall Over Come
Why We Are Proud
We Can Change the World
The Dreams of Generations
Rev. Rick Warren
The Inventor of the Supersoaker
Gone Too Soon/Heal the World
It's a New Day
Chapter V-List of America's Contributors in All Areas
Bibliographies
Black Codes & Example
The Author
“Salvation for a race, nation or class must come from within. Freedom is never given; it is won.”
Asa
Philip Randolph (April 15, 1889 – May 16, 1979) was a prominent
twentieth-century African-American civil rights leader and the founder
of both the March on Washington Movement and the Brotherhood of Sleeping
Car Porters, a landmark for labor and particularly for
African-American labor organizing.
The Purpose of This Book
As
a homeschooling parent it came across the mind of my youngest daughter
to ask about a history book which talks about all the races within its
bounded pages. She is a born optimist and hates the way we as adults
seem to enjoy racial profiling. I as the mother and her instructor in
life wanted to give her what she wanted, but I could find none. So, as a
home-school project we decided to write our own, Beads on a String-America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History.
We
chose to use Wikipedia as our “listed” resource because it was
established by the people. People with interest in America's history,
proud of their own heritage and who believed enough in themselves to
gather and write about the people, organizations, and all fractions of
society that helped to make America the great nation it has become and
if anyone has a problem with it, they can go in and change history.
What
better way, or so it seemed to us to celebrate America and it's
freedoms than with a system established by the people with or without
its faults and illusions. We believe in America and whenever we
had doubt about the information we did go and check the information
out at other sources and found Wikipedia to be pretty much correct on
more information than not and the biggest factor was that it was so
easy to use. I for one loved the way a ‘list’ of each race was simple
to pull up and then research. And hey, I just wanted to see a history
book that put everyone's contribution together and not separated by
race or hyphenation.
America
has had great contributors within every century working hard together
and yet each race would like to pull out their certain pages and
categorize them into their own history book. And we truly believe if
someone has a problem with our choice
they would have to deal with it or well, get over it. Our main focus
is to try and eliminate the division of a great nation by a single
line, the hyphenation.
America
as a nation has many problems and yet what other country in the world
can attest to the fact that people or dying to be here? There is a
dream in their heart to be a part of this great nation and to live in
the land of good and plenty as a member of one body. So why do we keep
the line of separation as a constant reminder? The hyphenation, which
line that separates all races and the word American.
The
elimination of the hyphenation that is placed to distinguish White
Americans from African (Black), Chinese, Arab, Indian, Japanese and
every other race would be an immense triumph for Americans. That
hyphenation continues to put a space between the races that are
naturally born and the races that have chosen to become Americans. And
we are that, Americans that have contributed enormously to the growth of
the great United States. If each of our histories were celebrated
everyday and our children were taught to value all histories,
contributions, and differences we wouldn't have to wonder what Dr. King
would think about us today. We live in different times and we now play
on a different game field from or ancestors and we need different
tactics to fight the causes of today. Beads on a String- America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History chooses not to be about a certain color, but about a certain nation, America.
Why
is all of the hyphenation and hating going on in America? Why is such a
distinction made before we are labeled Americans? African (sorry I
don't come from Africa.) Arab, Asian, Black, Chinese, Hispanic, Native. I
don't see anything about White-American or European-American. Who made
this 'hyphenation' up and why are we accepting a line that separates
us? I feel that we as Americans are all equal and held together by a
common thread. Like a treasured beaded necklace of different colors
held together on a string, we are held together by our necessities and
our circumstances and our humanity. Every color helps to make the
necklace beautiful. We can never be a totally separate entity.
Americans of all colors are so integrated that if we hurt one, we hurt
all. Just like that necklace of treasured beads, leave one out and the
gap is seen. Break the chain and many of us are lost.
We
believe that there are no pure races in America. Once Africans loved
and integrated with Native Americans and the White man brought the first
boat of Black slaves to America and raped their women, the 'pure'
races were put to an end because nine months later, some woman had the
first mixed baby. This integration happened again and again within all
races. We are such a mixed breed of people in America that it has
become hard to distinguish one race from another just by looking in a
face. Some Blacks were so light skinned that they married into the
White race and no one knew and may never know. Light to White skinned
babies were being born and no one knew if they were Black or White and
it did not and does not matter because they were born into the human
race. Once free, they became American citizens. As does anyone born
into this country, or anyone that chooses to come into this country and
become an American.
How
many pure races are living America? From what we see, love among the
races is flowing freely. Don't forget what happened to our fore-parents.
Let us not repeat it. Let go of what happened in the past. I am not
saying that there is not prejudice in the world. What I am saying is
this, when we are fighting for a 'cause' we must remember we are
fighting the system and not a person. We have to be diligent in
collecting facts, have an unbreakable, unbeatable plan, and remember all
of our foes may not be of one color. Pay attention to the present.
What we consider 'small things' is happening daily in the schools; on
the jobs; in the government. Pay attention so we don't step back in
time. Stop trying to benefit from the past. Everyone that was involved
in the mayhem and destruction of the families and the souls of the
slaves are dead. We cannot charge nor punish them with anything and if
we attack because of racial prejudice we may hurt our own. We take a
chance of destroying an uncle, aunt, cousin, brother because roots run
deep. We cannot change the past hurts, but we can change the present
laws. The heart of man has to be dealt with by God. We should not dwell
on the past. It stirs up hatred in young hearts that should only know
peace. We know what happened to our fore-parents. Let us not repeat
it.
It
is time for America to let go of the past and heal itself. The
grieving period should have been over and the healing started. But every
year, old wounds are torn open by the words Black History Month. Why
don't we teach the children about America's History with everyone
included? To me it seems as if only a few Black people are pulled out of
the closet, dusted off the shelves and paraded in front of America as
if to say, 'this one wasn't worthless', this one wasn't stupid'. Why is
the ‘black’ in capital letters? Is it to point out a person of color
has a brain or is it to pronounce to the world we have pride? If there
is so much pride in America for Native, African, Chinese, Japanese,
Indian, Iranian-Americans and other 'hyphened Americans, drop the hyphen
and pull together and teach our children that every bead has a purpose
and should be celebrated.
Visit the interview pageIf you are interested in reviewing this book, please contact me. imtheauthor@gmail.com
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I believe the trailer is the best piece of excerpt for each book.
Visit "The Children's Corner"
Mhia is so upset about not being able to hug the sun her mom tell her the story of the antics the sun goes through to get a hug and she learns a little science in the end. Who Will Hug the Sun is part of a series of picture books titled IN MY SISTER’S WORLD .
BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM explores the advantages and disadvantages of being the middle child and shows how Gillean discovers she has the uniqueness of being the only sister with the ability to be either the eldest or the youngest child in the family.
What would you do to ease the fears of your child’s nightmares? In prose and illustrations, NOT A SOUND, NOT A PEEP shows how the family handles the nightmares of Mhia, the youngest child in the family
If you would like to review either of the picture books, please contact me.
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